Summer Birthdays

I know, I know, I haven't been posting as much as I used to.  And I REALLY do want to get back to it.  I've just been having too much fun!!  :)  

Most notably,  I just came off of a week/end of delightful birthday festivities.  But before we talk about that, I'll fill you in on the biggest birthday bash of the summer . . .

Beau turned 50!  In the midst of a hectic time, we threw a weekend-long party last month.  As you know, our tiny island is home to fewer than 100 full-timers, plus the many visitors that travel through on boats and in rental cottages.  But for this weekend, close to 300 people converged at the parties - all the locals, friends from neighboring islands, family and friends from Nassau and elsewhere!

Family started to arrive on that Thursday while Beau and the guys were out diving (free-diving and spear-fishing) to get fish for the parties.  By Friday, all of us were in full party-prepping mode:  cleaning fish, seasoning fish/chicken/mutton, making a variety of salads and side dishes, etc.  

A friend in my kitchen making conch chowder.

Beau's family at his dock, cleaning fish.

Friday evening, the party kicked off at the main dock in the center of town.  It was a low-key, very native-style cookout.  The buffet-style menu included -- all home-caught and home-made -- conch chowder, mutton souse, chicken souse, boiled wilks and fried fish.  Beau had a bar set-up, and friends and family mingled over drinks and good island food.

Bellies full, the crowd mingles.

Birthday Beau and I with friends.

Saturday brought the next phase of party/food prep.  It was a lot of work - no catering in these parts, all DIY! - but we had so many family and friends pitching in.  One person made conch salad, another green salad, another lobster salad, another macaroni-n-cheese, another conch fritters, another deviled eggs, another seasoned and slow-roasted the pork, etc.  I made multiple runs to the little food stores for last minute items people needed, helped coordinate it all, made rum punch with Beau, and worked on cleaning up the party area, setting up chairs and tables and decorating.

Finally, after a really quick rainshower that gave us a momentary scare, but amounted to nothing more, the party began!  And oh. what fun it was!

Friends and family volunteering as servers to the giant buffet line.  Great food!

After a truly scrumptious meal, we surprised Beau with a presentation that the local children and I had been planning.  I recited a poem I'd written, the children performed hand motions along with it, and then - one by one - each child went up to Beau with a handmade card, a hug and proclaimed to the crowd the reason why they loved him.  It was so heartfelt and moving - love those kids!

The children and I on the platform, about to start the presentation.

After that, the band played good ol' Bahamian rake-n-scrape music all night, people danced, we ate cake and cupcakes, the kids played down on the beach and away from the "adult party," and a great time was had by all!

The band came in from Nassau for the party.

The bar.

 

The dancing begins!

Birthday Beau and I with good friends, having fun!

After that big bash, and a whirlwind trip to the States that included a friend's birthday bash, I was happy to be home on the island during this quieter end-of-summer time.  (Well, quiet except for the occasional tropical storm, that is!)

So imagine my delighted surprise when Beau mentioned in passing that he was putting together a little birthday BBQ for me!  We had dinner out for my actual birthday during the week, and then we celebrated with island friends this past weekend with a BBQ on the beach Saturday evening.  It was low-key, relaxed and simply perfect.

With my beautiful neighbor and friend.

With friends, against the backdrop of a pink sunset sky.

Our dear cousin/friend mans the grill.

Beau and the grill masters:  chicken, ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs.

Milo hanging out with us.  Angel happily ensconced at home, away from the crowd.

I enjoyed a happy, happy, happy birthday!

And that gives you a peek into our parties - island style!  This birthday season, I remain so incredibly thankful for a wonderful year and my own Better Life!

Have a wonderful week, and Happy Labor Day to all of you American readers!

Life Is Precious

I write with a heavy heart today.  

Last year, I had the pleasure of reconnecting with one of my best friends from days gone by, with whom I'd lost touch over the years. She was intrigued by my island story and happy for my happiness, but I was equally pleased that she had such joy in her Stateside life.  Newly into a second marriage, she was madly in love, pregnant with their baby, enjoying her older children and successful in her profession.  Life was great.

Now, the delightful baby is almost 7 months old, and today is my friend's two-year wedding anniversary.  But it is not a happy occasion.  I just learned yesterday afternoon that my friend's husband died in a motorcycle wreck the night before.

Words fail.  My heart aches.  A number of you have experienced the tragic death of a loved one.  I can't even imagine the pain and grief my friend must be experiencing right now.  It feels somewhat ironic to me that I just posted about not being a Pollyanna, having gone through my own dark days, blah, blah, blah.  That just pales in comparison.  I imagine she can only move forward in one minute intervals at the moment, that even 15 minutes feels like too much in his sudden and heart-wrenching absence.

How do you talk about Choosing the Better Life in the face of a situation like my friend's?  Amazingly, she has the strength and Grace to still assert her thankfulness for her children and the good in her life, even in the midst of all this.  As she makes her way down the beginning of this painful path, she reminds her friends to "Please, please, please kiss your loved ones and make EVERY minute count because they are soo precious."

And so I pass her reminder on to you.  Whatever you're experiencing today, it could be worse.  Let's be thankful for what we have.  If you're in the midst of your own crisis, even giving thanks for the shining sun or the comforting love of a pet is a start.  Just hold on, keep breathing, and take it one small step at a time.  Most important, grab your loved ones NOW for a big hug and tell them how much they mean to you!  Make every single moment count.

Last evening, as this was heavy on my mind and in my heart, I turned to see a glorious sunset.  My dear friend, this is for you and your beloved.

The sun is setting, but it will rise again.

 

Things I Could Do All Day Long

This blog post was prompted by two things I was doing the other day when I happened to think about each of them, “I could do this all day long and never tire of it.”  So I set pen to paper (err, fingers to keyboard) and started to write about it.  What were those two things that were so special as to inspire a blog post?  Well, let me set the scene for you . . . 

It was an early evening on the island.  The sun was performing a beautiful slow dance toward the horizon, and the sea sparkled her farewell to the day.  My beau had departed a few hours earlier – off with “the guys” to an island 40 miles away to hunt goats to supply food for a friend’s upcoming wedding feast.  (And, by the way, I’m pretty sure I’ve never described that scenario ever before in my life!)  I was blissed out, having the house to myself.  I mean, I looooove spending time with my beau, and I miss him when he is away.  But I was glad he had the chance to engage in one of his favorite activities (hunting for food, not sport).  Plus, a guys’ hunting weekend that entails guns and game and sleeping with the guys on a boat on a deserted island engenders far more favor with me than, say, a wild bachelor party in Las Vegas or New Orleans.

So there I was, sprawled out on the couch with my laptop, Angel snoring on the floor beside me.  I’d been surfing the internet for hours, Tweeting more than usual, researching various blogging how-to, reading other blogs and generally feeling inspired to write – albeit in a prone-on-the-pillows, in-my-mind-only kind of way.  It was at that point that my battery indicator went off.  Time to plug in and recharge the laptop.

I walked to the bar at the kitchen counter – my usual writing spot – and plugged in.  Angel, awakened by my movements, was prancing around the kitchen to remind me that it was 6:00 p.m. – her DINNER TIME!  As I do almost anytime I cook or clean or putter in the kitchen, I pressed play on my ipod.  The speakers started to blast ABBA’s Gold album, which I’d already listened to a couple of times earlier in the day.  I sang along anyway, thinking “I could listen to ABBA all day long.”  (FINALLY, I’m getting to the point here.  I’m apparently extra chatty with my beau gone, too!)

After feeding Angel (and my beau’s potcake, Milo, who was stretched out on the front porch), I realized I should probably eat, too.  

Milo is having a leisurely evening, too.

Although I enjoy cooking for my beau or guests or family, I don’t usually enjoy it just for myself, and I was relishing my “night off” anyway.  So I grabbed an avocado and a lime from the refrigerator and quickly turned it into guacamole.  Yummmm.  

Back when I was a working stiff, my evening meal after arriving home late was very frequently just a bowl of hastily-made guacamole, bag of restaurant-style tortilla chips and a glass of white wine – all consumed in my big, fluffy bathrobe on the couch in front of recorded episodes of West Wing, Modern Family, Glee, True Blood, Mad Men, Rachel Ray, Ellen or Oprah.  (By the way, I don’t have a DVR on the island, and I don’t get network channels or HBO, so my tv-viewing these days is limited to occasional news or weather, and tv movies with my beau.  I never watch regular programming, and I don’t miss it one bit!  Go figure.)

Oops, I devoured the bowl of guacamole before I thought to take its picture!

At some point during the ravishing of the guacamole, I thought, “I could eat guacamole all day long.”  (Ahhh, finally back on point again.)

I started to wonder what else I could do all day long without getting tired of it.  Here’s what I came up with:

• Listen to ABBA’s Gold album (or Carrie Underwood, Jimmy Buffett, The Eagles, Jim Brickman, Jackson 5, Rascal Flatts, the Mamas & the Papas, Kelly Clarkson, Bob Marley, Rebecca Lynn Howard, Zac Brown Band, Dixie Chicks and certain other go-to’s).

• Eat freshly made guacamole (or brownies, fettucine alfredo, gnocchi in pesto sauce, fresh Bahamian lobster, macaroni –n-cheese, cornbread, a good cheeseburger, strawberries, quesadillas, conch fritters or any kind of cheese). 

• Enjoy the playful antics or sweet snuggling of beloved dog, Angel.

• Read a good book.

• Simply look at my beau - sappy, but true.

• Gaze at the sea, or be on or in or near the water in almost any fashion.

• Hang freshly washed clothes on the line to dry (so long as no mosquitoes are around).

• Subject myself to a foot rub or massage.

• Talk to a best girlfriend.

• Sing.

• Dance (well, until my body gave up anyway).

• Write.  I might have to mix up WHAT I was writing over the course of an entire day (e.g., blog posts, professional writing, journal, poetry, song lyrics, etc.), but I could write all day and not get tired of it.

• Receive sincere compliments or a genuine hug.  (Okay, neither of those could go on all day without it getting weird, but you know what I mean.)

• Smile. 

Much to smile about!

What things could YOU do all day long?  (PG-rated, of course!)

Post-Script re Goats.  The hunting trip was a happy success.  My beau got six goats.  He prides himself on clean shots to the head, which I also like because it kills them instantly, without needless suffering.  The other guys got a few, too.  They cleaned them all well and put them on ice - the makings of souse, stew, grill and other wedding entrees, along with plenty of fresh fish and conch!

How Did You End Up On An Island? Part 2

If you've been reading along with me, you'll know that the answer to Part 1 of this question involved opening myself up to broader possibilities and taking the leap of quitting my job as a lawyer.  As I wrote in that post, my job for the next year was going to be to design an exciting new life, one that was more in alignment with my true self and how I really felt inside, now that I would have the luxury of time to sift through the clutter of our hectic lives and figure mine out!

Okay, So You Quit Your Midwestern Job, But How Did You End Up On An Island?

I spent the first week of voluntary unemployment sleeping in, going to lunches and matinees with my stay-at-home-mom friends, snuggling on the couch with my darling dog, Angel, and voraciously reading books.  Or, as it helped me to think about it so that I didn’t feel too lazy, I spent my first week implementing the first component of my new plan – to just BE and decompress for a little while.

My first real order of business came quickly:  ditch winter and spend time with my family in Florida.  While there, I also planned to duck away for a week-long trip to a tiny island in the Bahamas where my family had been vacationing for 25 years.  We had even built a family home on the island, but I hadn’t visited in several years. 

Well, one week on the island turned into a month, turned into several months.  Walking into that small community of people who had known me since I was 16 was a true homecoming.  I love the small-town values combined with a sophisticated flair from an international mix of people, the indescribable beauty of the sea, the comforting warmth of the sunshine, the overwhelming peace and contentment I feel here, the pace and experiences of island living, and the time to fulfill all my domestic “nesting” leanings.

I was home.

Why go back to the cold?  Why return to the rat race?  I was HAPPY on the island.  At peace.  Satisfied.  Content.  To the core.  Sure, there were still a host of unknowns, but I quietly sensed that it would all just work itself out.  This is where Faith comes in for me.  For once, I wasn’t trying to plan every detail, and it was evolving better than I could have even imagined.  I trusted that would be the case with eventual work and other details, too.  

So, I sold off everything in the States and declared this small island my permanent home, with my U.S. base conveniently with family in South Florida.

Massive Moving Sale

I kept the beloved piano and giant sunflowers photo, but ditched the shovel and winter gear!

Amazing what you'll part with when the question becomes "Is this worth moving cross-country & paying for storage space?"

Taking stock and marking off one of my many lists during the sale/move.

Ahhh, already on my way to a Better Life!

A Word About Love

One other thing – as much as I try to protect the privacy of those close to me who may be less than enthused about their lives being broadcast in this manner (like my uber-private beau), my story is incomplete without one other critical piece.  Back on the island, I reconnected with The Great Love of My Life, a Bahamian man I had dated for 5 years more than a decade prior.  It is such a small community that I suspected I would cross paths with him when I came for my visit.  But there was so much water under our respective bridges that I wasn’t sure if we would even still be friends, much less entertain the possibility of a romantic reunion.   

However, some fires are inextinguishable.  Our love burns stronger than ever, and coming to this as wiser, more-experienced people gives us a fresh perspective and appreciation for what we have.  We are together now, and I expect we will be forever this time around. 

One of the few pics you'll see here of my beau!

Life is good.  I am so thankful every day that I followed those “illogical” nudgings.  To me, that is what Faith is all about, and mine has deepened tremendously.  I am so thankful that my Type A personality let go of my ingrained habit to plan and attempt to control every detail.  Rather, by trusting that something better would evolve for me and my loved ones, it does.  And it just keeps getting better in ways that I could not even have imagined.

Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey!  May you dare to live your life to its fullest, too.  It’s not your location that matters; it’s your state of mind!  Be open to Choosing The Better Life for yourself.  I can’t wait to hear about your journey!