Dawn of a New Day

Good morning, Better Lifers!  What a glorious day.  I hope you take a moment from your busy Saturdays to simply breathe, look around you, and smile.

I've been rather contemplative lately.  I just feel so FULL of Life, in a quiet, contented way.  I think perhaps my senses are becoming more finely tuned to the little things in each day that bring me peace and happiness.  Combined, they can outweigh the moments of the blechy stuff - the chaos and frustrations of everyday life.

Anyway, in this spirit of contented contemplation, I awoke this morning with a clear mission in mind . . .

First of all, keep in mind that I don't use alarm clocks anymore.  Beau might as well be an alarm clock because he wakes so early and regularly.  Angel, too.  I love waking slowly to the quiet sounds of their morning stirrings, the buzz of an early boat carrying someone to work on a neighboring island, the darkness slowly dispersing as I blink my way into the day.

So, at 6:30 a.m. this morning, I was sleepily making coffee and giving Angel her breakfast.  However, already having my mission in mind, I skipped other morning routines (dishes, email, etc.), put on some clothes, grabbed my camera and headed out the door.  Angel scampered happily along with me toward the golf cart, excited to go for a ride and likely curious about this deviation from our usual morning routines.

Our mission?  To experience the sunrise, up close and personal.

On this small island, I face west and enjoy glorious sunsets on a near-daily basis.  As much as I love and appreciate such beauty at the close of the day, there's just something special about the peaceful quiet of morning and the anticipation of a new day that prompted me to go get a sunrise fix.

Five minutes after we left home, Angel and I arrived on the eastern side of the island, the "ocean ridge" where the waters are less protected and rougher.  From here, we enjoyed the dawn of this new day . . .

6:45 a.m.  

The sun has not yet shown her face, but her advance team has begun to brighten the eastern sky.

Turning slightly southeast, the sky pinkens and the sea grass blows in the wind down the long stretch of empty beach.
 

We walk down the sand dunes and onto the beach.  Not another soul in sight, we enjoy the serenity of the beach with only the sounds of the wind and the waves.

Well, I am serene.  Angel is beyond excited at this big-beach freedom.  She races down the beach, then gallops back toward me with a happy, panting grin.

As the sun continues her journey toward the horizon, I am struck by the beauty of a large rock jutting out of the sand at the shoreline.  It's glossy surface and ragged edges are beautiful.  The pretty and peaceful symbolism of a rock in the midst of a stormy sea comes to mind for me as well.

As Angel and I stroll along, I am also reminded of a beloved childhood poem that used to hang on my bedroom wall, Footprints in the Sand.  Do you remember it?

I turn back to look at our path, and I see Angel's tiny paw prints next to mine.



We return to our starting point and sit down to take in the rest of the sunrise.



 

 Here she comes!  The sun rises, a tiny orange ball sitting on the horizon.

 And now, getting larger . . .

 And higher in the sky . . .

 Beautiful.  A new Dawn.

Sated, Angel and I strolled from the water's edge, through the soft sand, up the dunes to the golf cart waiting on the rocky road up high on the ridge.

I brushed the sand from her pink belly and off of her paws, deposited her on the seat, took a swig of coffee, and turned the golf cart toward home.

As we drove back to the western side of the island, I continued to enjoy the brightening sky, noticing how the pinks and oranges bounced off the clouds reflected in the western sky.

So imagine my delight when I arrived home to a breathtaking rainbow!

Angel and I went out back, to the calm shallow water, and I could see the rainbow emerging from a little cay and stretching into the clouds . . .

 . . . ending only when it encountered the brilliant blue sky.

A rainbow!  What a glorious finale to our sunrise experience!

Then, as a delightful post-script, Angel and I enjoyed a visit from our neighbor dog, Billie Girl.  They sniffed each other, tails wagging, then Billie came over to give me kisses and check out the trail of scents in our yard.

After more doggie kisses (and a wave to Billie's Momma to let her know where Billie was), I headed back inside.  Angel cooled down from her adventure, and I continued to nurse my coffee.  (I also ate a piece of chocolate cake for breakfast.  Just because.  Oh glorious day!)

On this quiet morning, I give thanks for so much:  the simplicity of the day, the inspiration to go on our excursion, the majestic beauty of the sunrise, the startling surprise of a rainbow, the friendship of neighbors, the love of dogs, the delicious decadence of chocolate cake, the peace of the ocean and sky, the Grace that brought me here and so much more.

And as I write, I think of you, my beloved family and friends and my dear Better Life readers, and I give thanks for each of you, too.  Have a wonderful weekend.

Wow! A Better Life Profile

Well, Better Lifers, here's another first.  A delightful blog has published a profile about me and Choosing the Better Life!  I am amazed, honored and extremely humbled.

You may recall that I recently wrote a book review for two lovely women, Lois and Victoria, discussing their newly published book, A Little Book About Something Much Bigger.  We first "met" via Twitter (@LittleBookAbout).  Part of why we connected online initially was our shared beliefs in living from a place of gratitude, following those inner nudgings, and otherwise living by Choosing the Better Life kinds of principles.  

Lois and Victoria developed those themes even further and highlight them in their blog post.  Thank you for being part of this Better Life journey!

Choosing To Be Unbusy

I've joked about being "island busy."  That is, my days stay full of activity, but I'm cognizant that it's not the same stressful levels as when I lived in the States.  

Lately, however, I've been feeling the press of those old "hectic" feelings creeping into my island bliss.  You know the ones I mean:

• I'm so busy.
• I can't get through everything on my To Do List.
• I can't seem to get caught up.
• There's not enough time to do the things I want to do. 
• I'm turning down fun offers for the tasks I feel I "should" be doing.

IT'S TIME TO PRESS THE PAUSE BUTTON.

I live on an island for heaven's sake!  I walked away from a "big career" and left the City so I could enjoy the things in life that were more important to me.  I made a conscious choice to Better my Life in big and small ways every day.  I don't even have a freakin' job - how can I be too busy?!

How did this happen?  Slowly, over time, I've allowed my commitments and my own tendencies to crowd the relaxed island pace I'd been enjoying.

Some of it is an increase in responsibilities:  running a summer kids' program, house issues popping up that need addressed, spending more time developing blog and writing opportunities, etc.

Some of it stems from my own personality traits:  conscientious list-maker with a strong work ethic.  Even my 86-year-old grandmother rarely sits down - though she certainly should! - in the course of any given day.  Always busy, busy, busy.  In the work world, those traits masquerade as ambition and reliability and good things to help us advance.  But we just get busier.

Part of my Better Life has been letting go of Type A tendencies and being more flexible.  While I've managed to sustain that, I've let my penchant for being busy accumulate into a way that I'm no longer liking.

Perhaps that's why I relished that French Toast and my pseduo "day off" earlier this week.  It was my first attempt at slowing things back down, relieving myself of the drive to be "productive," and a reclaiming of some simple happiness.

After reading that post, my mother emailed me a link to an article about being too busy.  (Mom suffers from this malady as well - we are a direct line of descendents from the aforementioned busy grandmother!)  I promptly emailed her back, but said - no kidding - that I was too busy to read it until later!  Well, I finally read this wonderful article, and it gave me great pause.

On the New York Times Opinion Pages, Tim Kreider posted "The 'Busy' Trap."
I thought he was spot-on in his descriptions of, and musings about, the busy-ness that pervades our lives.  And what wonderful timing for me to be reading his article!

I've decided that, before I slide down that busy slope any more, I'm calling a halt and making some little changes.  I'm choosing to be less busy!  It means a shift in priorities.  It means giving myself permission (again) to not be "productive" every minute of the day, or even every day.  It means saying yes to fun offers and letting other things wait.  

In law school, and then later in law firm life, my best friend and I had a mantra that we would use to remind each other and ourselves not to freak out in trying to manage a seemingly impossible amount of work on tight deadlines  - IT ALL GETS DONE.  IT ALL ALWAYS GETS DONE.

While I am thankfully no longer working or living at that pace, I can apply the same mantra to my "island busy."  How have I implemented this specifically so far?

• For the past two mornings, I've spent over an hour exercising with friends.  Now, if you know me or if you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll recall that I am a morning person.  I'm most productive in the early hours of the day and I get lots done then!  Moreover, if I don't get a jump on it then, I tend to lose momentum and it takes me longer - or not at all - to get to certain things.  HOWEVER, morning is when my friends exercise.  Morning is when it's less sweltering on the island so it makes sense to exercise then.  So I've been exercising in the morning, instead of not at all!

• For the past two days, I have, in fact, felt the gap in productivity since I'm using my mornings differently.  BUT, I feel good about exercising.  I like how I feel physically.  I enjoy the time with friends.  I'm not missing any deadlines or postponing important stuff TOO long, so I just let any potential angst about not being as productive as I could/should be roll right off.

• After this morning's exercise, I was on my way home when I saw a few friends hanging out on their front porch.  Normally, I'd wave and head on home to get to work.  This morning, I stopped.  We chatted about last night's fireworks and festivities.  We traded tips on gardening and recipes related to the pumpkins and watermelons that our kids' camp children have planted.  We laughed. It was worth every minute.

• Eventually, I headed home.  However, along the way, I noticed some of the children sailing just offshore in small Sunfish as part of a sailing lesson by one of my friends.  Again, I decided to make time and stop.  I walked out to the dock and cheered each of the kids by name as they rounded the buoy on a successful tack.  I called out to my friend and traded quick pleasantries.  I chatted with one of the boys who was still ashore.  I smiled, inhaled the fresh air, enjoyed the pretty view, and just breathed a little easier.

• Now, instead of tackling house projects, I am drafting this blog.  I confess, partly it's because of those old "shoulds" creeping in.  Bloggers must post regularly to keep readers interested, blah, blah, blah.  But also, I just felt like it, and I wanted to share this mini-revelation and The 'Busy' Trap article with you all.

• I haven't been carrying my camera around and thinking about blog shots at every opportunity.  No worries, I'll get back to pictures because they are fun.  But, for now, this is one little nod to just going about my day in a slower, simpler, just-for-me kind of way.

And there you have it!  I'm back to Choosing a Better Life by choosing to be unbusy!  Or, well, at least LESS busy.  Baby steps, people.  :)  How are you going to extricate yourself from your own busy trap?

What's So Special About French Toast?

What's so special about French Toast?  Well, nothing really.  It's delicious, but it's not particularly unique, nor is it difficult to make.  So why write about it?  

I dunno, just because I feel like it.

Okay, but that's kind of a weak answer.  WHY do I feel like writing about it?  Perhaps because some of you are curious about what I do in the course of any given day on the island.  Others of you are interested in the concept of choosing a better life for yourselves and are searching for clues in the experience of others.  And some of you, like me, just like food!

So today's post is simply about French Toast.  And it's the "simply" part that's most important to me and part of my Better Life.

So, let's talk.

Yesterday, my beau was visiting a neighboring island after work, and one of the women sent him home with a loaf of fresh-baked bread for me - cinnamon raisin, mmmmm.

Fresh, homemade cinnamon raisin bread.

Many of the women in the islands bake their own bread.  My mother even baked bread with a bread-maker machine in years past.  My darling ex-pat neighbor, normally a fantastic cook, even called me one day to tell me not to worry if I saw smoke pouring out of her kitchen window - her bread-maker was having a bad day!

Many of the Bahamian women bake the oh-so-delicious "Bahamian Bread."  One of these days, I'd like to tackle that.  For now, I enjoy the fruits, errr breads, of their labors.  The classic Bahamian bread is white, thick, dense and sweet.  In this health era, women bake whole wheat, too.  Coconut bread is a local favorite which, as you may suspect, has grated coconut in the bread for a scrumptious flavor.  Cinnamon bread, pictured above, is the last of the four standard varieties.

Many of the women bake for their own families.  Others have turned it into a business.  Local bakeries, often selling out of their own homes, are delightful places to visit with the warm sweet scents emanating from the kitchen.  Generally, Bahamian Bread (white) sells for $5 per loaf, and the other varieties sell for $6 per loaf.

So, yesterday, I was delighted at our friend's thoughtfulness in sending bread to me, and I immediately thought how tasty the cinnamon raisin bread would be as french toast.  This morning, those thoughts were still on my mind.

It is another hot day, with a slight breeze, but it still feels like a warm damp blanket wrapped around me and everything in the house.  I do have A/C units in each room, but electricity is expensive, and I don't want to get so used to the A/C that I can no longer function in the ever-present heat!  Summer is just beginning, after all.  So most days, I sweat it out until late afternoon or early evening, then indulge in cooling off the main room for dinner and evening relaxation, and the bedroom for sleeping.

But I digress.

On this hot morning, I just felt like taking a break from the usual busy pace of cleaning, prepping lunch and dinner, running errands, dealing with online stuff, and all the usual details of the day.  Nope, today I felt like treating myself a little bit - and French Toast was the way to go.

I laid out everything I would need and threw together the egg/milk batter.  I pulled out my all-time favorite Mrs. Butterworth's syrup.  Funny the things we like.  My beau and I have friends from New England who brought us The Real Deal in the form of Vermont maple syrup.  While all-natural and absolutely delicious, sometimes I just want Mrs. Butterworth's.

Side note: the little red-topped container that lives on my counter contains pure rock salt, hand-gathered locally by a friend!

Let the cooking commence!  I won't even attempt to frame this as a "recipe" since I can tell you nothing about French Toast that you haven't already learned from your own family or the almighty internet.  Approximately one egg with 1/4 cup milk or so, sprinkles of cinnamon powder, stir together, dunk the bread on each side and plop onto a hot griddle, flipping to cook each side until done to your liking.

French toast in process.

Not having made it with cinnamon bread before, it didn't occur to me that it might brown faster or burn around the raisins.  Whatever.  I'm not claiming excellence - it tasted better than it looks!  Same goes for the egg yolk that broke when I flipped it, but it still ended up over medium, as I was hoping.

Final touch - fresh strawberries purchased on a day-run to Nassau yesterday for errands and groceries.  Occasionally, fresh strawberries will come through our local stores, but it's a treat, so I grabbed a box of pretty-looking ones in Nassau.

Breakfast is served.

As always, Angel maintained an alert post beside me while I ate, anxious for accidental droppings or not-so-accidental handouts.

Anything for me?

And this pic just because she's so doggone cute.

I wasn't giving her any handouts, but - with the camera taking her picture and all - she knew I was still paying attention to her.  So she diligently held her "sit" position to show me what a good girl deserving of treats she must be.  In fact, she was so intent on holding her pose that her back legs were slowly sliding out from underneath her!  Cracks me up . . .

Still waiting - and slowly spread-eagling.

Eventually, she gave up on the pose, got more comfortable, but still stayed right beside me - just in case.

I'm right here if you change your mind.

I didn't change my mind, and I polished off the whole plate.

Mmmmmmm.

So, that's been my morning so far.  Well, that plus the dishes and blogging about it all.

It just made me HAPPY this morning to make French Toast.  Temporary, fleeting, minor, low-key, whatever.  But every little bit of happiness must surely be a good thing.  Today, for me, I found happiness in "treating" myself to postpone laundry and computer errands.  I found happiness in a friend's generosity of gifting me bread.  I found happiness in the fresh homemade goodness itself.  I found happiness in satisfying a craving for French Toast.  I found happiness in a childhood favorite syrup.  I found happiness in fresh berries.  I found happiness in Angel's antics.  I found happiness in the view of the sea as I cooked.  I found happiness in the contentment of a full belly.  

Realizing that I couldn't remember a single day of making mid-week French Toast for myself in more than a decade of lawyering, I found appreciation and happiness in simply having the time to putter with all of this today.

The "big" things in life are momentous, important and sometimes life-changing.  But it's the little things in every single day that give shape to how we feel on that particular day.  Those little moments accumulate into the whole of the day.  Mine is off to a good start!  I hope you find some little pleasures in your day, too.  Cheers, friends!

Do You Miss It? (Big Life Change)

Last week, I posted about things I miss (and don't miss) as it relates to the specifics of island living.  Today, we tackle the bigger picture of what I miss (or don't miss) as it relates to the major changes I've made in leaving the practice of law and life in a big USA City for life on a tiny island.

So, in that context, do I miss it?  The general answer is a resounding no.  Particularly, when people ask me if I miss practicing law, I surprise even myself by answering that I haven't missed it or looked backwards AT ALL!  I mean, I miss colleagues and clients, I miss having that professional identity, I miss the ego aspects of it.  And I definitely miss the paycheck.  But that's all at a fairly low level - I really don't miss it.  

I was fortunate to be successful as a lawyer, but it was never my true calling.  Even after law school, I worked as an educational consultant before going into private practice.  I liked it well enough, but I didn't LOVE my job as a lawyer, and I didn't feel like I was REALLY making a difference in anyone's life in a way that mattered to me.  Add to that the pressures of time, politics, business development, high-stakes deals and the overall stress and exhaustion, I just don't miss it!

One of our Better Lifers, who is himself a lawyer, asked me some specifics about this in a comment to last week's post:

• "Dawn, do you miss the practice of law at all? I know that at least for awhile I would be just fine being separated from it, but having spent so much of my life in and around the law, I think it would be tough to let go, both emotionally as well as intellectually."

I touched on some of that above, but let's elaborate.  I didn't struggle at all with letting go.  That is, once the decision was made, I didn't struggle.  Keep in mind that I decided to quit my job and take a "year off" - anticipating a career change of some sort - well before I decided to visit the island, much less move here!  Any struggle I had was in leading up to that decision.  Since making the decision, having quit and eventually moved to the island, I have not struggled at all to let go.  

Emotionally, I never fully identified myself with being a lawyer anyway.  Certainly, it was my primary identity to the outside world, but because it didn't feel totally like ME, I was actually seeking to find something that was a better match.  

Intellectually, I haven't missed it either.  I am surrounded by very bright people and dynamic discussions that keep me on my toes.  I also am stretching into new areas (e.g., freelance writing) and enjoy the writing aspect.  Frankly, I'm learning so many new island-related skills and details that it's a bit of a rude awakening to realize that all my lawyer skills pale in comparison - and don't get me very far - when it comes to fishing for food, cleaning fish, driving a boat, making home/boat repairs, growing produce and so many other talents required to live well on an island.

• "I know that there are so many advantages to your situation, but have you felt the need to replace the intellectual stimulation you may have had as a lawyer with something else since you have embraced the island life?" 

I am so happy being domestic and living the island life that I haven't felt any need to replace the intellectual stimulation.  Like I said above, I am intellectually satisfied in other ways now.  Also, I'm very involved in my adopted community and put my organizational and project management skills to use in ways that feel even more rewarding (with direct impact) than I felt before.

• "Will you still keep your law license up to date, or have you permanently walked away from the profession?"

Although I don't think I would ever practice law again, I recognize that we can't predict all future events, so never say never.  However, I NEVER want to take another Bar Exam!  So, yes, I maintain my law license in the two states where I am licensed.  I've gone to inactive status to save on annual fees since I'm not practicing.

One last thing about not missing the practice of law . . . There is a distinction between not practicing anymore and not being a lawyer anymore.  I've heard some say, "Once a lawyer, always a lawyer."  (I think I've run into this most on Facebook, Twitter and blogs where there is an abundance of "former lawyers" in new careers or working as writers in some foreign land!  There are way more of us than I would have guessed.)  I still identify myself as a lawyer sometimes.  I confess, sometimes it's an ego thing because, in the face of my current unemployed and homemaker role, it gives me instant "credibility" with intellectual snobs or people who can't figure out how to pigeonhole me.  Also, the skills I learned from almost 15 years of lawyering are transferable (e.g., writing, public speaking, research, attention to detail, project management, organization and time management, etc.) so I'm still a lawyer in that sense.

And as any "non-lawyer" who is married to a lawyer knows, I will forever parse words, push for one more detail about something I'm trying to figure out, and be long-winded.  :)  Once a lawyer, always a lawyer. 

Wow, that was a lot about lawyering.  But in terms of big life changes, our careers define so much of who we are, I guess that makes sense.  Do I miss other big-picture aspects?  I don't miss big-City living at all.  To the extent I miss specific luxuries that came with City living, I addressed that last week, and I just don't miss any one thing THAT MUCH.  

Bottom line, as with all life decisions, it's all about the personal fit.  I think, as humans, we can be very adaptable.  I was able to thrive in the big City and fast lane career.  But, for me, my island life is simply a better fit with who I am and how I want to live my life - simply, surrounded by a beautiful environment (especially sea and sun), in a small community, and focusing on the things that matter most to me.

What else have I forgotten?  What other "big life picture" things do you wonder whether I miss or not?  What do you think you might miss?

Do You Miss It? (Island Living)

Sometimes, people will ask me, "Do you miss it?"  The specifics they're ascribing to that question depend on the context of whatever we've just been discussing.  However, it usually falls into one of two scenarios:  (1) Island Living - the micro view of the challenges inherent in living on a tiny island, or (2) Big Life Change - the macro view of how dramatically I've changed my life.  Let's tackle the first one here today.

Island Living

I've described before just how very small this island actually is.  When talking about life here, which necessarily involves limited shopping and entertainment and other resources, people will sometimes ask "Do you miss it?" with regard to a host of things.  I suppose my general answer is that I miss some things, but far fewer than you'd expect, and certainly not enough to make me anything less than enthusiastic about living here.  

So, let's talk specifics . . .  Do I miss the following?

• Friends - Yes and No.  I miss those City friends with whom I can no longer get together for a quick lunch or leisurely dinner.  But, let's face it.  In our jammed schedules, we just didn't get together THAT often.  Also, I'm blessed with friendships that stand the test of time and distance.  My very best friends remain my very best friends, no matter where they or I live.  That said, I don't have to miss the enjoyment of friendship interactions just because I live on a tiny island.  Here, I've reconnected with old friends and made many new friends.  This small island is a hub of social activity and, given the community living, I see far more friends in any given week here than I ever did in the States.  Plus, I keep up with friends, old and new, through email and social media.  God Bless the Internet to keep far-flung folks connected.

• Grocery Stores - Yes and No.  I miss being able to read a new recipe and run to the store to buy every obscure item listed, at any hour of the day or night.  Food stores here are far more limited in size, selection and hours.  However, unless the freight boat is delayed (which happens all too frequently), I can almost always get the basics:  butter, eggs, cheese, apples, oranges, onions, potatoes, lettuce, green peppers, tomatoes, lime, basic canned food and condiments.  During tourist season, the stores stock more and I can even pick up mushrooms, occasional strawberries, feta cheese and tortilla chips!  Specialty items, don't ya know.  :)  Of course, please also remember the benefits of island living - my beau brings home fresh fish, lobster and conch!  And I stock several months of meat in my deep freezer.  So, our grocery options are just fine.  Actually, when I go to the big grocery stores in the States now, I find the selection positively overwhelming and quite daunting!

• Shopping - No.  Granted, I wasn't really much of a shopper before anyway, at least not of the type to relish wandering through malls or boutiques.  I would, however, put that attorney paycheck to use and indulge in occasional fits of online shopping, which I've since curtailed.  I just don't need much and, now on a tighter shoestring, I just don't buy it!  If anything, I'm glad not to have stores around tempting me with pretty window displays.  Nope, I don't miss shopping.

• Big Box Stores - Yes.  I miss Target!  I miss being able to run out for those random things that come up as needed from Target, or Pet Smart, or Bed Bath & Beyond, etc.  I'm forced to economize and improvise by (a) deciding I really don't NEED it, (b) coming up with some alternative creation/solution/fix, or (c) adding it to the ever-present list of Things To Buy Stateside that will go in my purse with my passport on the next trip home.  Currently on my list, for example:  non-standard-sized light bulbs, bath mats, stove burner covers, flea/tick medicine, cooler bags, file folders.

• Movies - Yes.  I didn't go that often, but I do miss being able to head into a movie theater for an escape, weekend event, or simple change of pace whenever the mood strikes.  When we have time during trips to Nassau or the States, ducking into whatever box office hit is playing at the time is a favorite thing to do.

• Restaurants - Yes.  We have two restaurants regularly serving dinners at the moment.  Of course, by now I know the menus by heart.  So, while it's still a treat to go out to dinner here and have the night off from cooking (no other carry-out options!), it's just not the same.  I miss going out to a new (or favorite) restaurant, enjoying the ambiance, sitting down and being served, perusing a delicious-sounding menu and tasting every item in my mind as I read the menu, enjoying an array of dishes from excellent chefs, etc.  But, it is what it is.  I enjoy my nights out here, and I enjoy the restaurant dining experience as a treat when I travel.  Moreover, I'll tell you what I DON'T miss about restaurants - the expense and the extra pounds!  I definitely attribute my bikini-ready self to healthy home-cooking and an absence of tempting restaurant options.

• Services - Yes.  I miss easy access to doctors, dentists, vets, hair/nail salons and a host of repair services.  Sigh.  (Note to self:  time to remember your Choosing the Better Life principles - it's all good.)

• Garbage Disposal - Yes.  In fact, this may be the home amenity I miss most!  I can make do quite well with sea baths when the water is off, frequent electric outages, hand-washing dishes, limited A/C, etc.  But MAN do I miss having a garbage disposal.  Newer homes on the island do boast garbage disposals, but our system isn't adaptable to it.  (I'll spare you the intricacies of water/sewage/other pipe set-ups and systems.)  Yeah, I'm trying to create less waste and compost what I do make, but let's face it - I miss a handy little garbage disposal right there in my sink!

Interestingly (to me anyway), as I read over this list, it seems like I'm listing a lot of things that I miss when I feel like, overall, I don't miss much at all!  I think it's because this island life GIVES me so much more of things that I really value and didn't have before, that I don't really miss even those things outlined above.  I get to eat fresh fish, go snorkeling, see sharks and iguanas, walk down the road in flip-flops visiting friends along the way, romp on the beach with my dog, go to friends' houses for dinner, witness breath-taking sunsets, etc.  It's a great life!  

Perhaps the other reason I don't feel like I miss all that stuff is that I still have access to it.  I travel back to the States and elsewhere frequently enough that I get my "fix" of movies and restaurants and change of scenery.  I schedule doctors and hair cuts when I need them.  I stock up on groceries and big-box-store stuff.  I take advantage of the City amenities, but also get just enough of the City traffic and other hassles that I'm ready to come home to the island!  But I still miss my garbage disposal.  :)

Do you wonder if I miss other Stateside/City daily living amenities that I didn't mention?  Just tell me what you're curious about and I'll let you know!  As for Big Life Change and whether I miss things in that context, to be continued . . . !

Not Just A Pollyanna!

I've been ruminating on this post for a while.  As you can tell, I try to have an upbeat approach to most things.  Yet, sometimes, with these blog posts, I've wondered if readers ever roll their eyes or think I'm just some fluffy Pollyanna.

Although I have always been a glass-half-full optimist, I believe that I'm also grounded in reality.  I was fortunate to enjoy a stable, protected, happy childhood as a solid foundation from which to springboard into the world.  As I entered adulthood and life brought its various experiences - good, bad and otherwise - my world view and life philosophy expanded.  There's a lot of garbage out there!  But, as Anne Frank said, "I still believe that people are really good at heart."  Always, my family supported me with unconditional love and encouraged me that I could do whatever I dreamed and put my mind to do.

All of this is merely by way of background in The General Development of Dawn.  However, what is REALLY at the heart of my blog philosophy of Choosing the Better Life (and some of my potentially eyeball-rolling comments) can be pinpointed more exactly . . .

As I alluded to vaguely in my About page and background blog posts, my life turned upside down a few years ago.  I don't like to discuss it, and certainly not in such a public forum, but let's just say it involved large scale emotional trauma, deception, public humiliation, heartache and the carpet of my entire life being pulled out from underneath me from several corners at once.  Not much fun, to put it lightly.

I was not nearly so optimistic in those dark days.  I really was in more of a survival mode.  A dear friend, who had suffered extreme personal tragedy in her past, thoughtfully passed on wonderful words of advice - just live your life in 15 minute increments until you can face more.  Don't worry about the rest of your life, or next year, or next month, or next week, or tomorrow, or even the next hour.  Just get through the next 15 minutes.  Brush your teeth.  Take the dog out.  Just get through the next 15 minutes.

Eventually, I came out of the fog and found peace within myself again.  With renewed Faith (having leaned on my spiritual beliefs harder during those dark days than I had in quite some time), I determined to find and follow my inner nudgings.  As I did so, I began to wonder about the next phase of my life.

Well, now I'm in that next phase, and it is WONDERFUL!  But it's NOT because I live on an island (though that helps).  It's NOT because I'm spared the office grind (though that helps, too).  It's NOT because I'm in a good relationship (yup, another helper).  It IS because I am just so very thankful for all the good in my life, down to even the smallest of things, and I try not to take anything for granted.  It IS because I remember the sting of so many negative feelings, emotions and experiences and am so thankful to be in a better place in my life.  It IS because I'm aware that it is those very experiences that pointed me toward the happy path I now travel.  Having experienced such "dark days," I am oh-so-appreciative of these much lighter days.  Even a "bad day" now is a good one!

I still have plenty of everyday problems just like the rest of the population.  Things break.  Friends disappoint.  Family annoys.  (Mother, of course I'm not talking about you!)  Relationships pose misunderstandings or differences to work through.  Dogs get ticks.  Finances have to be treated carefully.  Loved ones encounter health and other challenging issues.  I experience sadness, frustration, anger, resentment, loss, grief, hurt, stress, etc.  It's just that I remain - at all times - thankful for the good in my life, even in the face of whatever the issue of the day is.  And I make a conscious effort - although I have to remind myself some days - to Choose the Better Life, take the higher road, don't sweat the small stuff, and all the other cliches that have nuggets of wisdom in them.

So, I'm not a Pollyanna.  It's just that I've experienced awful stuff - like so many of you - so I don't let the regular crapola of life weigh me down.  I'm grounded in myself, centered in Spirit, at peace and comfortable in my own skin.  When things go awry, I remind myself to hold steady on that even keel and not get caught in the swirl.

This Choosing the Better Life blog is about all of that for me, conveniently packaged in an island setting.  I'm not here to tell anyone else how to do it - only you can figure that out.  It's also not to promote island living for everyone!  Plenty of people would not enjoy days without electricity or water, a complete absence of shopping and big box store convenience, or the small town everyone-knows-everything communal living.  For me, however, it is bliss (well, most days).

While I was working up this blog post, I "happened" to come across another blog along those lines.  Written in a more cavalier tone than is my personal style, the blog post by Jonesy entertained me immensely and captured many of my thoughts about it all.  Check out "Hey Everyone!  Come see how great my life is!  How NOT to be a Douche Bag Blogger"

Also during this time, I came across a lovely blog post by Jodi Chapman of Soul Speak about how we define the "story" of our lives - and how it influences how we feel about it.  (By the way, one of the best benefits of having started a blog is that I've "met" so many wonderful, interesting, clever, like-minded bloggers!)  On her blog, and as she'd love for any of you to do, I shared the "old" story of my life and contrasted it to my "new" story:

OLD: I’m tired. I’m overworked. I’m stressed. I don’t have time for friends and fun. I live too far from family. I hate winter. I’m sick – again. I’ve had nothing but heartache in relationships. I’m reeling from emotional trauma. I let others determine how I feel. I’m lonely. My beloved dog is the brightest spot in my day. I’m Type A to the max. Life doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it should. I feel like I’m just marking time.

NEW: Endless sunshine and water views buoy my spirit daily. I enjoy seeing my family more often. I love having time to be happily domestic at home and social with many friends. Deep, steady, solid love fills my heart. I am healthy and rested. I’m content within myself. I’m still highly organized and detail-oriented, but I can go with the flow, too. I take each day as it comes and am open to how the future will unfold. I am thankful for the abundance of good and Grace in my life. I still love my dog but we’re no longer co-dependent. :)

I believe it is an internal mental/emotional/spiritual shift that matters as much as, if not more than, any external factors in determining how we feel about the lives we are living.  So, the next time you read one of my life-is-great blog posts, please pause to notice where maybe life isn't totally great but I'm choosing to focus on the good and appreciate that.  And then feel free to continue rolling your eyes at me!  Cheers to your new story for your own life and to Choosing The Better Life for yourself in small ways every day!

Things I Could Do All Day Long

This blog post was prompted by two things I was doing the other day when I happened to think about each of them, “I could do this all day long and never tire of it.”  So I set pen to paper (err, fingers to keyboard) and started to write about it.  What were those two things that were so special as to inspire a blog post?  Well, let me set the scene for you . . . 

It was an early evening on the island.  The sun was performing a beautiful slow dance toward the horizon, and the sea sparkled her farewell to the day.  My beau had departed a few hours earlier – off with “the guys” to an island 40 miles away to hunt goats to supply food for a friend’s upcoming wedding feast.  (And, by the way, I’m pretty sure I’ve never described that scenario ever before in my life!)  I was blissed out, having the house to myself.  I mean, I looooove spending time with my beau, and I miss him when he is away.  But I was glad he had the chance to engage in one of his favorite activities (hunting for food, not sport).  Plus, a guys’ hunting weekend that entails guns and game and sleeping with the guys on a boat on a deserted island engenders far more favor with me than, say, a wild bachelor party in Las Vegas or New Orleans.

So there I was, sprawled out on the couch with my laptop, Angel snoring on the floor beside me.  I’d been surfing the internet for hours, Tweeting more than usual, researching various blogging how-to, reading other blogs and generally feeling inspired to write – albeit in a prone-on-the-pillows, in-my-mind-only kind of way.  It was at that point that my battery indicator went off.  Time to plug in and recharge the laptop.

I walked to the bar at the kitchen counter – my usual writing spot – and plugged in.  Angel, awakened by my movements, was prancing around the kitchen to remind me that it was 6:00 p.m. – her DINNER TIME!  As I do almost anytime I cook or clean or putter in the kitchen, I pressed play on my ipod.  The speakers started to blast ABBA’s Gold album, which I’d already listened to a couple of times earlier in the day.  I sang along anyway, thinking “I could listen to ABBA all day long.”  (FINALLY, I’m getting to the point here.  I’m apparently extra chatty with my beau gone, too!)

After feeding Angel (and my beau’s potcake, Milo, who was stretched out on the front porch), I realized I should probably eat, too.  

Milo is having a leisurely evening, too.

Although I enjoy cooking for my beau or guests or family, I don’t usually enjoy it just for myself, and I was relishing my “night off” anyway.  So I grabbed an avocado and a lime from the refrigerator and quickly turned it into guacamole.  Yummmm.  

Back when I was a working stiff, my evening meal after arriving home late was very frequently just a bowl of hastily-made guacamole, bag of restaurant-style tortilla chips and a glass of white wine – all consumed in my big, fluffy bathrobe on the couch in front of recorded episodes of West Wing, Modern Family, Glee, True Blood, Mad Men, Rachel Ray, Ellen or Oprah.  (By the way, I don’t have a DVR on the island, and I don’t get network channels or HBO, so my tv-viewing these days is limited to occasional news or weather, and tv movies with my beau.  I never watch regular programming, and I don’t miss it one bit!  Go figure.)

Oops, I devoured the bowl of guacamole before I thought to take its picture!

At some point during the ravishing of the guacamole, I thought, “I could eat guacamole all day long.”  (Ahhh, finally back on point again.)

I started to wonder what else I could do all day long without getting tired of it.  Here’s what I came up with:

• Listen to ABBA’s Gold album (or Carrie Underwood, Jimmy Buffett, The Eagles, Jim Brickman, Jackson 5, Rascal Flatts, the Mamas & the Papas, Kelly Clarkson, Bob Marley, Rebecca Lynn Howard, Zac Brown Band, Dixie Chicks and certain other go-to’s).

• Eat freshly made guacamole (or brownies, fettucine alfredo, gnocchi in pesto sauce, fresh Bahamian lobster, macaroni –n-cheese, cornbread, a good cheeseburger, strawberries, quesadillas, conch fritters or any kind of cheese). 

• Enjoy the playful antics or sweet snuggling of beloved dog, Angel.

• Read a good book.

• Simply look at my beau - sappy, but true.

• Gaze at the sea, or be on or in or near the water in almost any fashion.

• Hang freshly washed clothes on the line to dry (so long as no mosquitoes are around).

• Subject myself to a foot rub or massage.

• Talk to a best girlfriend.

• Sing.

• Dance (well, until my body gave up anyway).

• Write.  I might have to mix up WHAT I was writing over the course of an entire day (e.g., blog posts, professional writing, journal, poetry, song lyrics, etc.), but I could write all day and not get tired of it.

• Receive sincere compliments or a genuine hug.  (Okay, neither of those could go on all day without it getting weird, but you know what I mean.)

• Smile. 

Much to smile about!

What things could YOU do all day long?  (PG-rated, of course!)

Post-Script re Goats.  The hunting trip was a happy success.  My beau got six goats.  He prides himself on clean shots to the head, which I also like because it kills them instantly, without needless suffering.  The other guys got a few, too.  They cleaned them all well and put them on ice - the makings of souse, stew, grill and other wedding entrees, along with plenty of fresh fish and conch!

Regatta Farewell

Dearest Readers, consider this my TEMPORARY farewell.  Regatta fever continues.  Now my adrenalin is really racing as we are about to set sail!  Literally.  We are leaving on a friend’s sailboat and leisurely headed down to the Regatta.  (My family is visiting and taking care of the house and Angel, and I’ll be delighted to spend more time together upon my return.)

I won’t bother taking my computer with me, and I don’t have any mobile gadgets other than a very basic cell phone.  Upon leaving the States, I gave up the old Blackberry!  While Bahamians also have all the latest iphones, ipads, etc., part of my Better Life is controlling myself against the lure of constant-internet-everything.  So, while I’d love to update you periodically from the middle of it all, I will remain unplugged and “in the moment” and just enjoy it!  Of course, I’ll be snapping photos like crazy and will fill you in upon my return.  Since I’m going to be unplugged, any new comments you make won’t post until my return.  Thank you for your patience, and I’ll certainly respond then.

Have a wonderful couple of weeks and I’ll talk to you early May!  Hugs and Better Life blessings to each of you!