My Love of Music

Music.  One of my passions.  From as early in life as I can remember, my home and heart have been filled with music.

The music of my childhood.

Both of my parents played instruments as youngsters, have good singing voices and love music.  Throughout my childhood in the 70's, joyous sounds of singing and old records regularly flooded our home.  My dad even enjoyed moonlighting as lead singer in a band when he was in graduate school and I was in pre-school.  (Those were the days when a little girl could ride on the gas tank of her daddy's motorcycle to band practice in the small town where we lived.)

Later, in my grade school days, I would sing my heart out through a variety of make-believe microphones (and later a real one through my stereo!), engage Dad in duets (our favorite harmonies, Everly Brothers All I Have To Do Is Dream), make up dance routines with my little brother (we can still do a mean Greased Lightning), and begin piano and flute lessons.

Years later, playing flute in high school - big 80's hair, blue eyeshadow and all!

The music of my youth.

In high school, I enjoyed the equivalent of a star quarterback's glory days by performing as Annie in my high school's spring musical my Junior year.  We were in a newly built high school with a state-of-the-art theater, and we filled 800 seats for three nights in a row to standing ovations - what a rush!  Glory days, indeed.

Onstage, in my red Annie wig and red Annie dress.

During those high school years, I also sang with our church youth choir, which would go on tour during the summer, even performing in Disneyworld one year!  

My favorite memory of church-singing was a quiet performance of Amy Grant's El Shaddai.  Such a simple, beautiful song.  More significantly, that is my clearest early memory of music being a strong spiritual connection for me, too.  I just felt so MOVED as the song came up through me.

Interestingly, given my current life, I experience the strongest spiritual connection when combining music and the sea, even back then.  Since my family had started vacationing to the small island where I now live, I can remember riding in the bow of our little Boston Whaler, my brother and Mom nearby, with my Dad on the tiller.  As we cruised through the spectacular waters, my teenage self would belt out Madonna's La Isla Bonita and other favorite songs of the day, letting the wind carry my voice away.  Exhilaration.  Pure peace. 

Fast forward a couple of decades:  Nashville

At the tail end of my 30's a couple years ago, I had just emerged from some dark days and was entering a time of transition.  Music played an important role in my life again.

My "leftie" guitar

Seeking a fun and creative outlet, I began guitar lessons in my Midwestern City.

I also started writing lyrics and learning the wonderful world of song-writing (shout out to Nashville Songwriters Association International).

I made several road trips to Nashville for songwriter classes and to explore the wonderful small city as a potential new home for me and Angel.

On one visit, my mother and I were excited to attend the Grand Ole Opry, being performed in the original Ryman Auditorium that night!  Such an historic, intimate setting with fantastic acoustics.

We knew we would enjoy all performers, but we were most excited to see Dolly Parton!

Dolly Parton, in all her glory, gave an outstanding live performance.

First, however, someone new to me came onstage.  Rebecca Lynn Howard.  

I hadn't heard of her until that night, but from the moment she opened her mouth, I was transported.  She sang what I now know to be her break-through bestselling song, Forgive.  As her words resonated through me and her powerful voice soared through the old venue, tears streamed down my face, and I became a lifelong fan.  ("Forgive, well that's a mighty big word for such a small man" - what a great line!)  I would later enjoy Rebecca's performances at the famous Bluebird Cafe and other songwriter showcases.

My introduction to the talented Rebecca Lynn Howard at the Grand Ole Opry

Fast forward to present:  Island Living

As you know, I ended up not in Nashville, but on this special island, where music continues to play an important part of my life.  

For example, I luuuuuuuv the sound and vibe of old-school Bahamian music, soca and rake-n-scrape.  When Beau and I are out to the local bars, that's what really gets me twitching in my seat when it comes over the stereo.  And when we can hear live bands and dance, like at his birthday party, even better!

More significantly on a daily basis, music is just around me all day now!  In my former life, I spent most of my waking hours in an office.  And, while I would have been permitted to play music at my desk, I didn't.  For me, serious concentration over contracts and legal documents requires quiet.

Now, however, serious concentration flies out the window!  (Unless I'm writing, of course.)  While I do the dishes, cook, clean the floors, organize files, manage dog duties and otherwise go about my day, the music is on.  

And it's usually on LOUD, especially when I'm cleaning or cooking.  

And, with apologies to my neighbors, I'm usually singing along at the top of my lungs.  More than once I've been dancing around the kitchen, singing at high volume, only to turn around and see that Beau has walked in the house and is now gazing at me with a quizzical expression on his face!

Music is joy.  It is connecting with others.  It is spiritual.  It is fun.  It is part of me.  It is part of my Better Life.

What about YOU?  What role does music play in your Better Life?

Dawn of a New Day

Good morning, Better Lifers!  What a glorious day.  I hope you take a moment from your busy Saturdays to simply breathe, look around you, and smile.

I've been rather contemplative lately.  I just feel so FULL of Life, in a quiet, contented way.  I think perhaps my senses are becoming more finely tuned to the little things in each day that bring me peace and happiness.  Combined, they can outweigh the moments of the blechy stuff - the chaos and frustrations of everyday life.

Anyway, in this spirit of contented contemplation, I awoke this morning with a clear mission in mind . . .

First of all, keep in mind that I don't use alarm clocks anymore.  Beau might as well be an alarm clock because he wakes so early and regularly.  Angel, too.  I love waking slowly to the quiet sounds of their morning stirrings, the buzz of an early boat carrying someone to work on a neighboring island, the darkness slowly dispersing as I blink my way into the day.

So, at 6:30 a.m. this morning, I was sleepily making coffee and giving Angel her breakfast.  However, already having my mission in mind, I skipped other morning routines (dishes, email, etc.), put on some clothes, grabbed my camera and headed out the door.  Angel scampered happily along with me toward the golf cart, excited to go for a ride and likely curious about this deviation from our usual morning routines.

Our mission?  To experience the sunrise, up close and personal.

On this small island, I face west and enjoy glorious sunsets on a near-daily basis.  As much as I love and appreciate such beauty at the close of the day, there's just something special about the peaceful quiet of morning and the anticipation of a new day that prompted me to go get a sunrise fix.

Five minutes after we left home, Angel and I arrived on the eastern side of the island, the "ocean ridge" where the waters are less protected and rougher.  From here, we enjoyed the dawn of this new day . . .

6:45 a.m.  

The sun has not yet shown her face, but her advance team has begun to brighten the eastern sky.

Turning slightly southeast, the sky pinkens and the sea grass blows in the wind down the long stretch of empty beach.
 

We walk down the sand dunes and onto the beach.  Not another soul in sight, we enjoy the serenity of the beach with only the sounds of the wind and the waves.

Well, I am serene.  Angel is beyond excited at this big-beach freedom.  She races down the beach, then gallops back toward me with a happy, panting grin.

As the sun continues her journey toward the horizon, I am struck by the beauty of a large rock jutting out of the sand at the shoreline.  It's glossy surface and ragged edges are beautiful.  The pretty and peaceful symbolism of a rock in the midst of a stormy sea comes to mind for me as well.

As Angel and I stroll along, I am also reminded of a beloved childhood poem that used to hang on my bedroom wall, Footprints in the Sand.  Do you remember it?

I turn back to look at our path, and I see Angel's tiny paw prints next to mine.



We return to our starting point and sit down to take in the rest of the sunrise.



 

 Here she comes!  The sun rises, a tiny orange ball sitting on the horizon.

 And now, getting larger . . .

 And higher in the sky . . .

 Beautiful.  A new Dawn.

Sated, Angel and I strolled from the water's edge, through the soft sand, up the dunes to the golf cart waiting on the rocky road up high on the ridge.

I brushed the sand from her pink belly and off of her paws, deposited her on the seat, took a swig of coffee, and turned the golf cart toward home.

As we drove back to the western side of the island, I continued to enjoy the brightening sky, noticing how the pinks and oranges bounced off the clouds reflected in the western sky.

So imagine my delight when I arrived home to a breathtaking rainbow!

Angel and I went out back, to the calm shallow water, and I could see the rainbow emerging from a little cay and stretching into the clouds . . .

 . . . ending only when it encountered the brilliant blue sky.

A rainbow!  What a glorious finale to our sunrise experience!

Then, as a delightful post-script, Angel and I enjoyed a visit from our neighbor dog, Billie Girl.  They sniffed each other, tails wagging, then Billie came over to give me kisses and check out the trail of scents in our yard.

After more doggie kisses (and a wave to Billie's Momma to let her know where Billie was), I headed back inside.  Angel cooled down from her adventure, and I continued to nurse my coffee.  (I also ate a piece of chocolate cake for breakfast.  Just because.  Oh glorious day!)

On this quiet morning, I give thanks for so much:  the simplicity of the day, the inspiration to go on our excursion, the majestic beauty of the sunrise, the startling surprise of a rainbow, the friendship of neighbors, the love of dogs, the delicious decadence of chocolate cake, the peace of the ocean and sky, the Grace that brought me here and so much more.

And as I write, I think of you, my beloved family and friends and my dear Better Life readers, and I give thanks for each of you, too.  Have a wonderful weekend.

Better Life Book Review: A Little Book About Something Much Bigger

Hello, Better Lifers!  Well, here comes another “first” for me - I’ve been asked to write a book review, which I present below.  First, a little background . . .

In my About page, on the eve of my blog launch, I commented, “Although I won’t talk much about God here, spirituality is an important part of my life.  My faith has deepened throughout this journey, and my soul thrives in this serene environment.”  Over the next few weeks in the life of my new blog, I proceeded to write – with great response from readers – about spear-fishing, making my favorite hogfish dinner, differences before and after my island move, random bits about island life and other island-living posts.  A month later, inspired by a morning devotional I’d read, I posted something a bit different – my thoughts about following my “inner nudgings” with a broad nod of appreciation to God/Spirit/Universe.  The positive response to that little post overwhelmed me.  It was my most popular post!  Go figure.

Of the many readers who contacted me, one in particular struck up an online conversation with me.  This lovely woman named Lois seemed to share a similar philosophy of life, and she conveyed her appreciation for Choosing The Better Life.  Eventually, Lois stepped out a bit further, and asked if I’d be interested in reading a new eBook that she and her best friend, Victoria, had just published about making time for the connection to self and Spirit each day – and then writing a book review. 

Hmmm, I certainly hadn’t anticipated this direction when I started the blog.  However, I was interested in reading their book anyway.  Moreover, I decided that I’d better follow my own advice to pay attention when opportunities cross our paths, and this was certainly a new type of opportunity for me.  So, I told Lois that I’d be happy to read their book and would consider writing a review if I was still comfortable with the idea after reading their book.

Fast forward to present . . . I have since read their little book, and it is a delight.  Without reservation, I offer Choosing The Better Life’s first book review!

ALITTLE BOOK ABOUT SOMETHING MUCH BIGGER:  

The Gift of a Spiritual Practice.  

 By Victoria Cryder and Lois Hughes 

 

“You had me at ‘Hello.’”  You know that now-classic line from Jerry Maguire?  Well, that’s how I felt upon reading the very first line of this little book.  Even before the Table of Contents, the authors set the stage with an introductory quote from Henry David Thoreau, “Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”  It just grabbed me.  Certainly, I could relate to that.  Of course, not everybody has to hit rock bottom in order to turn their lives around, but, especially as I’ve found through conversations with others about their own version of Choosing The Better Life, dark times often serve as a catalyst for change.

As I turned the page to the first chapter, the introductory quote to that chapter grabbed me again, “Turning points announce themselves through a variety of vague symptoms:  deep restlessness, a yearning with no name, inexplicable boredom, the feeling of being stuck.” (Gloria Karpinski)   Ahhh, yes, those subtle feelings surely resonate with so many people.  But how many of us are able to recognize them as turning point opportunities? 

I continued to read and to recognize so much of myself in the authors’ comments and observations – I felt like they were talking to me!  The ultimate point of the book is the authors’ successful attempt to condense and share from a multitude of resources specific techniques that we can use to create a spiritual practice and incorporate it into our daily lives.  As Lois and Victoria wisely state, “This isn’t an overnight process, but more of a piecing together of little ‘aha’ moments that, in time, become something much bigger.”

The authors present six chapters, each with a specific theme and tangible suggestions of what to do to incorporate the principles into our daily lives.  To put it all in context, Lois and Victoria bravely share their own stories with us.  Throughout, I found myself identifying with these lovely women who write comfortably, as though they were chatting with you over a cup of coffee.  They conclude each chapter with brief lists (you know how I love lists!) of suggested exercises and ways to create new habits.

As with Choosing The Better Life, you’ll recognize in their book an overarching theme of gratitude as a basis for how we live our lives.  “By appreciating what we have, even when we’re struggling, we open the door to joy, abundance and peace . . . Many of us are used to seeing what we don’t, rather than what we do, have in life.  In doing so, we hold ourselves back from seeing the abundance that is already present – and we hold ourselves back from creating more.”

The authors also do a wonderful job of tackling the concept of prayer, which, in my opinion, is a tricky topic because so many people have such strong and/or preconceived notions about prayer.  For me, Lois and Victoria nailed it.  They outline my own evolution of thinking about prayer.  They describe prayer just as I have experienced it – especially in times of despair and in how to identify the answers to our prayers – and they explain how we can use prayer effectively in everyday life.  Victoria and Lois emphasize that prayer is available to each person in their own way – “It means different things for different people, but for us prayer is an open and heartfelt conversation with God” – and they offer suggestions for how to tap into it.

Additionally, Lois and Victoria describe how to simplify our cluttered lives and quiet our minds.  They write about how to find clarity.  Oh, if I could have read that section (indeed, the whole book) a few years ago!  In a very bad place and time in my life, I was stuck on “what to do.”  In this confused state, I prayed for months simply for “clarity.”  Eventually, I figured it out – finally seeing what had been before me all along – but what a difficult, drawn-out process!  Lois and Victoria point to an easier way and reminded me, “Pay attention to what’s in your heart, not in your mind.  Be honest with yourself and go deep . . . It’s not unusual to feel overwhelmed and frightened as clarity is gained and what’s been buried rises to the surface.”  With their confident, supportive tone, the authors assure us that if we continue on that path, it will get better.  And it does!

As the book nears its end, Lois and Victoria conclude, “Don’t be discouraged if you don’t have a huge epiphany.  Although this happens for some, it’s more of a small series of moments that moves you into your higher self.”  That’s how it started for me, and now, as I now continue down this road, I’ll put to use what I’ve learned from this book.  Echoing my own philosophy from a recent post about not being a Pollyanna, the authors point out that “life will continue to show up and present challenges.  But you’ll notice a difference in the manner in which you react to these situations.  You’ll handle what comes your way with a new trust and understanding – and an awareness that all is unfolding as it should.  As the challenges arise, you’ll now meet them with a new grace and ease.”

The book is “a little book” indeed.  It will not bog you down in length or style of writing.  Rather, it is a delightful, uplifting, quick read – one that I found myself going back to at different times, re-reading and re-visiting parts, using it as a toolbox as the authors intended it to be.  The book is well-written, organized and concise.  It is heartfelt and wise, helpful without condescension, and supportive of readers at all points on our respective journeys.  I loved how Lois and Victoria synthesized so much material into a simple approach combining it all.  Their approach is accessible to every person, regardless of religious affiliation and regardless of whether you are brand-new to the ideas presented or have already started down a spiritual path.  As the authors write, “Begin where you are now.”

Lois and Victoria are warm and wise women.  Best of all, these two friends are simply “regular” women, balancing marriages, children, houses, finances, self-image, activities and the hectic pace of life.  They get it.  They are relatable people.  They have figured it out for themselves, and now they are generous in sharing what they’ve learned for the benefit of the rest of us.   Already trying to choose a Better Life for myself each and every day, I learned new techniques, gleaned new insight and am refreshed and inspired again by this book.  Thank you, Lois and Victoria!

Victoria Cryder

Lois Hughes

You can learn more about A Little Book About and its authors on their blog (www.alittlebookabout.blogspot.com) and Twitter (@LittleBookAbout).

Note:  the author of this book review – ummm, that’d be me – received no compensation for this review, other than a complimentary copy of the e-book in advance.

Not Just A Pollyanna!

I've been ruminating on this post for a while.  As you can tell, I try to have an upbeat approach to most things.  Yet, sometimes, with these blog posts, I've wondered if readers ever roll their eyes or think I'm just some fluffy Pollyanna.

Although I have always been a glass-half-full optimist, I believe that I'm also grounded in reality.  I was fortunate to enjoy a stable, protected, happy childhood as a solid foundation from which to springboard into the world.  As I entered adulthood and life brought its various experiences - good, bad and otherwise - my world view and life philosophy expanded.  There's a lot of garbage out there!  But, as Anne Frank said, "I still believe that people are really good at heart."  Always, my family supported me with unconditional love and encouraged me that I could do whatever I dreamed and put my mind to do.

All of this is merely by way of background in The General Development of Dawn.  However, what is REALLY at the heart of my blog philosophy of Choosing the Better Life (and some of my potentially eyeball-rolling comments) can be pinpointed more exactly . . .

As I alluded to vaguely in my About page and background blog posts, my life turned upside down a few years ago.  I don't like to discuss it, and certainly not in such a public forum, but let's just say it involved large scale emotional trauma, deception, public humiliation, heartache and the carpet of my entire life being pulled out from underneath me from several corners at once.  Not much fun, to put it lightly.

I was not nearly so optimistic in those dark days.  I really was in more of a survival mode.  A dear friend, who had suffered extreme personal tragedy in her past, thoughtfully passed on wonderful words of advice - just live your life in 15 minute increments until you can face more.  Don't worry about the rest of your life, or next year, or next month, or next week, or tomorrow, or even the next hour.  Just get through the next 15 minutes.  Brush your teeth.  Take the dog out.  Just get through the next 15 minutes.

Eventually, I came out of the fog and found peace within myself again.  With renewed Faith (having leaned on my spiritual beliefs harder during those dark days than I had in quite some time), I determined to find and follow my inner nudgings.  As I did so, I began to wonder about the next phase of my life.

Well, now I'm in that next phase, and it is WONDERFUL!  But it's NOT because I live on an island (though that helps).  It's NOT because I'm spared the office grind (though that helps, too).  It's NOT because I'm in a good relationship (yup, another helper).  It IS because I am just so very thankful for all the good in my life, down to even the smallest of things, and I try not to take anything for granted.  It IS because I remember the sting of so many negative feelings, emotions and experiences and am so thankful to be in a better place in my life.  It IS because I'm aware that it is those very experiences that pointed me toward the happy path I now travel.  Having experienced such "dark days," I am oh-so-appreciative of these much lighter days.  Even a "bad day" now is a good one!

I still have plenty of everyday problems just like the rest of the population.  Things break.  Friends disappoint.  Family annoys.  (Mother, of course I'm not talking about you!)  Relationships pose misunderstandings or differences to work through.  Dogs get ticks.  Finances have to be treated carefully.  Loved ones encounter health and other challenging issues.  I experience sadness, frustration, anger, resentment, loss, grief, hurt, stress, etc.  It's just that I remain - at all times - thankful for the good in my life, even in the face of whatever the issue of the day is.  And I make a conscious effort - although I have to remind myself some days - to Choose the Better Life, take the higher road, don't sweat the small stuff, and all the other cliches that have nuggets of wisdom in them.

So, I'm not a Pollyanna.  It's just that I've experienced awful stuff - like so many of you - so I don't let the regular crapola of life weigh me down.  I'm grounded in myself, centered in Spirit, at peace and comfortable in my own skin.  When things go awry, I remind myself to hold steady on that even keel and not get caught in the swirl.

This Choosing the Better Life blog is about all of that for me, conveniently packaged in an island setting.  I'm not here to tell anyone else how to do it - only you can figure that out.  It's also not to promote island living for everyone!  Plenty of people would not enjoy days without electricity or water, a complete absence of shopping and big box store convenience, or the small town everyone-knows-everything communal living.  For me, however, it is bliss (well, most days).

While I was working up this blog post, I "happened" to come across another blog along those lines.  Written in a more cavalier tone than is my personal style, the blog post by Jonesy entertained me immensely and captured many of my thoughts about it all.  Check out "Hey Everyone!  Come see how great my life is!  How NOT to be a Douche Bag Blogger"

Also during this time, I came across a lovely blog post by Jodi Chapman of Soul Speak about how we define the "story" of our lives - and how it influences how we feel about it.  (By the way, one of the best benefits of having started a blog is that I've "met" so many wonderful, interesting, clever, like-minded bloggers!)  On her blog, and as she'd love for any of you to do, I shared the "old" story of my life and contrasted it to my "new" story:

OLD: I’m tired. I’m overworked. I’m stressed. I don’t have time for friends and fun. I live too far from family. I hate winter. I’m sick – again. I’ve had nothing but heartache in relationships. I’m reeling from emotional trauma. I let others determine how I feel. I’m lonely. My beloved dog is the brightest spot in my day. I’m Type A to the max. Life doesn’t feel as fulfilling as it should. I feel like I’m just marking time.

NEW: Endless sunshine and water views buoy my spirit daily. I enjoy seeing my family more often. I love having time to be happily domestic at home and social with many friends. Deep, steady, solid love fills my heart. I am healthy and rested. I’m content within myself. I’m still highly organized and detail-oriented, but I can go with the flow, too. I take each day as it comes and am open to how the future will unfold. I am thankful for the abundance of good and Grace in my life. I still love my dog but we’re no longer co-dependent. :)

I believe it is an internal mental/emotional/spiritual shift that matters as much as, if not more than, any external factors in determining how we feel about the lives we are living.  So, the next time you read one of my life-is-great blog posts, please pause to notice where maybe life isn't totally great but I'm choosing to focus on the good and appreciate that.  And then feel free to continue rolling your eyes at me!  Cheers to your new story for your own life and to Choosing The Better Life for yourself in small ways every day!

How Did You End Up On An Island? Part 2

If you've been reading along with me, you'll know that the answer to Part 1 of this question involved opening myself up to broader possibilities and taking the leap of quitting my job as a lawyer.  As I wrote in that post, my job for the next year was going to be to design an exciting new life, one that was more in alignment with my true self and how I really felt inside, now that I would have the luxury of time to sift through the clutter of our hectic lives and figure mine out!

Okay, So You Quit Your Midwestern Job, But How Did You End Up On An Island?

I spent the first week of voluntary unemployment sleeping in, going to lunches and matinees with my stay-at-home-mom friends, snuggling on the couch with my darling dog, Angel, and voraciously reading books.  Or, as it helped me to think about it so that I didn’t feel too lazy, I spent my first week implementing the first component of my new plan – to just BE and decompress for a little while.

My first real order of business came quickly:  ditch winter and spend time with my family in Florida.  While there, I also planned to duck away for a week-long trip to a tiny island in the Bahamas where my family had been vacationing for 25 years.  We had even built a family home on the island, but I hadn’t visited in several years. 

Well, one week on the island turned into a month, turned into several months.  Walking into that small community of people who had known me since I was 16 was a true homecoming.  I love the small-town values combined with a sophisticated flair from an international mix of people, the indescribable beauty of the sea, the comforting warmth of the sunshine, the overwhelming peace and contentment I feel here, the pace and experiences of island living, and the time to fulfill all my domestic “nesting” leanings.

I was home.

Why go back to the cold?  Why return to the rat race?  I was HAPPY on the island.  At peace.  Satisfied.  Content.  To the core.  Sure, there were still a host of unknowns, but I quietly sensed that it would all just work itself out.  This is where Faith comes in for me.  For once, I wasn’t trying to plan every detail, and it was evolving better than I could have even imagined.  I trusted that would be the case with eventual work and other details, too.  

So, I sold off everything in the States and declared this small island my permanent home, with my U.S. base conveniently with family in South Florida.

Massive Moving Sale

I kept the beloved piano and giant sunflowers photo, but ditched the shovel and winter gear!

Amazing what you'll part with when the question becomes "Is this worth moving cross-country & paying for storage space?"

Taking stock and marking off one of my many lists during the sale/move.

Ahhh, already on my way to a Better Life!

A Word About Love

One other thing – as much as I try to protect the privacy of those close to me who may be less than enthused about their lives being broadcast in this manner (like my uber-private beau), my story is incomplete without one other critical piece.  Back on the island, I reconnected with The Great Love of My Life, a Bahamian man I had dated for 5 years more than a decade prior.  It is such a small community that I suspected I would cross paths with him when I came for my visit.  But there was so much water under our respective bridges that I wasn’t sure if we would even still be friends, much less entertain the possibility of a romantic reunion.   

However, some fires are inextinguishable.  Our love burns stronger than ever, and coming to this as wiser, more-experienced people gives us a fresh perspective and appreciation for what we have.  We are together now, and I expect we will be forever this time around. 

One of the few pics you'll see here of my beau!

Life is good.  I am so thankful every day that I followed those “illogical” nudgings.  To me, that is what Faith is all about, and mine has deepened tremendously.  I am so thankful that my Type A personality let go of my ingrained habit to plan and attempt to control every detail.  Rather, by trusting that something better would evolve for me and my loved ones, it does.  And it just keeps getting better in ways that I could not even have imagined.

Thank you for joining me on this amazing journey!  May you dare to live your life to its fullest, too.  It’s not your location that matters; it’s your state of mind!  Be open to Choosing The Better Life for yourself.  I can’t wait to hear about your journey!

Those Inner Nudgings

In my About page, I noted that spirituality was an important part of my life, although I wasn't going to talk about God much here.  I feel that is a personal thing, and each person can decide what God is or isn't, or what spirituality does or doesn't mean for them.  My view is all-inclusive, and I don't want to alienate or exclude anyone, especially my dear readers.

That said, something crossed my path this morning that I wanted to share . . .

I read the Daily Word most mornings.  It's a little daily devotional book (that you can also access for free online).  Although it is Christian-based and ends with a scripture, it really is about broad spiritual principles that we can all take to heart, regardless of our religious affiliation or lack thereof.

In this Choosing The Better Life blog, I have referred to "inner nudgings" - simply my label for the quiet guidance we all have inside, regardless of what we call it, or what we consider its source.  Those inner nudgings are very important to me because - when I listen to them - they have helped guide me toward decisions and actions that have brought so much good and joy to my life.  And when I have ignored them, I have paid dearly.  I also have found that, for me, those inner nudgings start out quietly.  However, if it is about something significant and I continue to question my "gut instinct" or attempt to downplay, suppress, explain away or otherwise ignore the subtle prompts from inside, those little nudgings eventually turn into something external and equivalent to a baseball bat knocking me upside the head!  So, now I prefer to pay attention while they are still quiet little nudgings.  :)

Anyway, I opened my Daily Word today and saw such a perfect description of this that I thought I would share it with you: 

Saturday, March 24, 2012

 

Navigate

 

The spirit of God within me lovingly navigates my way.

A Global Positioning System (GPS) in one's car shows the way to new places, while a friendly, automated voice gives turn-by-turn instructions on how to get to a specific destination.
Similarly, we have an internal GPS which we can activate anytime to steer us on our spiritual journey. My internal guidance arises through intuitive prompts, gut instinct and an inner knowing that guides me where I need to be.  The voice that speaks to me is the still small voice within, which helps me navigate through any challenges. I listen for Spirit's cues when I am quiet and still, and I confidently follow the prompts to my highest good.

And when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left, your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying, "This is the way; walk in it."--Isaiah 30:21 

It doesn't matter if you call it God or not.  Just sift through the noise and clutter to find that little voice inside, then listen to your inner nudgings!

Have a wonderful weekend!

How Did You End Up On An Island? PART 1

"How did you end up living on an island?"  This question is posed to me on a near-weekly basis.  The end result was a few decades in the making, so it defies any succinct answer, but I’ll give it a shot.

Where Were You Before You Moved To The Island?

After graduating law school and obtaining a Master’s Degree in Education in the Midwest, I moved to South Florida (where my parents and brother had relocated) and worked for four years as an educational/legal consultant to school districts across the southeastern United States.  Then, for a variety of reasons, I moved north to a wonderful Midwestern city that is unfortunately prone to long, grey, cold winters.  For 10 years I practiced in a downtown law firm, focusing on school law and business/transactional matters.  With everything you hear about law firms, I felt fortunate that I liked and respected my colleagues and the Firm’s clients.  Although I was not passionate about the actual work, I had found my groove, worked long hours at it, and just clicked along in the life I was living.

2009 brought a roller coaster of traumatic events in my personal life.  I regained my footing in 2010, but I began to approach life from a slightly different perspective.  I wanted to-the-core happiness.  I didn’t want to just keep going through the motions.  I sought personal fulfillment.  Blah, blah, blah.  :)  Things were calm and I was okay and life was fine.  But I felt a restlessness about me, a dissatisfaction, a haunting sense that I wasn't happy enough - if you can quantify such a thing - for the rest of my life.  I knew, or at least believed, that there had to be more to life than what I had tapped into.

So, I began to think about making some changes.  Specifically, I began to think about career change and geographic change.  

Why Did You Quit Your Job?

I started to slowly take the usual next steps associated with career/geographic change:  researching resume/CV formats for career-changers, updating my resume, contacting others to serve as references, researching other cities (particular nods to Nashville, Charleston and Wilmington), researching job opportunities in those areas, visiting and even browsing rental properties in Nashville, my top contender, and talking to a local realtor about listing my condo for sale. 

Visiting Nashville, playfully "praying for" a job teaching in Vanderbilt's College of Education, maybe my dream job?

But even with my growing interest in Nashville and exploration of other career possibilities, I kept hitting a wall.  I couldn’t bring myself to take steps much beyond thinking about it.  I couldn’t even finish my resume.  This lack of follow-through was foreign to my little organized self since I usually love to cross items off of my ever-present lists of things to do. 

Something was going on.  In wondering what was holding me back from the typical next steps, I kept feeling pulled in a direction that didn’t make sense to my logical brain . . . take a year off. 

“What?!  Take a year off?  And not have a job?  Not have a specific plan?  That is hardly a realistic option!  I’ve ALWAYS worked.  Even in college, every year I went home to waitress instead of going on a Spring Break.  Besides, I’m a responsible grown-up now.  You don’t just leave one job without having the next one lined up, especially in this economy!  Puhleez.”  My Type-A brain scoffed at the very notion. 

However, try as I might to redirect this impulse, it kept coming back to me.  Eventually, having promised myself to never again ignore those quiet nudgings that guide us from within, I finally gave in.  When I gave notice, my law partners were wonderfully supportive.  Some encouraged me to consider a leave of absence instead of a total break from employment with the Firm.  But I knew that I had to be completely untethered and relieved of all obligations or self-imposed time frames in order to make the most of my time off and really keep the options wide open.

I left my law firm early in 2011 amid tears, fears and high hopes for the unknown.  My “plan” was to simply BE for a few months, then start exploring other career/location possibilities in full force.  I’d budgeted savings to give myself an entire year off.  My job for the next year was going to be to design an exciting new life, one that was more in alignment with my true self and how I really felt inside, now that I would have the luxury of time to sift through the clutter of our hectic lives and figure mine out!

Little did I know how things would continue to unfold . . .