October 12 - Three Reasons to Celebrate

Today, October 12, is a special day.

Why?  In addition to simply celebrating another day of Better Life, here are my top three reasons to celebrate today.

Reason # 1 - Discovery Day

On Monday, October 8, the United States (and other countries) observed "Columbus Day" as a holiday.  Similarly, today, the Bahamas (and other countries) recognize "Discovery Day."

Discovery Day commemorates Christopher Columbus' arrival in the "New World."  His initial landfall is thought to be on one of the Bahamian islands, what he called Guanahani, on this day in 1492.

Present day, this is observed as a holiday and a day off from work for many Bahamians.  Locally, it coincides with a weekend-long bottom-fishing tournament and other activities (beach parties, dominoes challenges, etc.).  So let the celebrations commence!

Beau's little grandnephews in awe of the barrel full of fish during last year's tournament.

Reason #2 - Slick's Birthday

One of my favorite people on the island - in fact, on the planet - is Slick, and today is his birthday.

Bonefish Slick (real name Oliver) also happens to be Beau's cousin, although I met Slick years before I met Beau.  Back in those days, Slick was a bit more of a wild man, and I was a wide-eyed touristy teen.  I still remember one sunny winter day 25 years ago, sitting outside the local bar in a gazebo by the sea and declining the offer of a beer from a man ten years or more my senior.  (A beer!  I was 15 or 16, and my parents would have killed me.)  Yup, that was Slick.  He just laughed and went on his merry way.  

A few years later, Bonefish Slick demonstrated to me the fisherman part of his nickname.  Along with another fishing guide, Slick took me and my brother and two boatloads of family friends out for a wonderful day of bonefishing.

Since my move to the island on a more permanent basis, I've come to know Slick much more personally.  He has a heart of gold and an infectious laugh and is a loyal friend.  These days, Slick continues to thrive as an outstanding fisherman and guide.  He also serves as surrogate parent to Beau's dog, Milo, who follows Slick like a shadow when he's lost track of Beau.  Slick also is wonderful with children and spent hours in our volunteer program with the local kids this past summer.

Slick, celebrating the victory of the sailboat he crews on with Beau.

Beau and Slick are close, and Slick has embraced me tightly as family.  He's an excellent cook and will send native dishes over for me to eat, and he looks out for me in other little ways.  Slick has an open and loving heart and is simply a stand-up guy.  He's overcome many obstacles that would have been (and have been) the demise of other people.  For this, and for the man he is, I have immense respect and love for him.

Happy Birthday, Slickie!

Reason #3 - A Special Anniversary

Today marks the first anniversary of something I hope to celebrate for many years to come.

Today, someone dear to me celebrates a year of sobriety.  

This time last year, my heart clutched in fear, my stomach roiled with anxiety, and my eyes filled with tears as I observed my loved one battle the early stages of detox and recovery from alcohol/addictions.  This was something I had never previously encountered up close and personal, and it scared the daylights out of me.  

In the year that followed, I learned a lot about addictions and recovery.  I have incredible thanks and respect for reputable rehab programs and the almighty powers of AA - Alcoholics Anonymous.  More significantly, I have more-than-words-can-describe respect for my loved one who has conquered and thrived.

From time to time, people will hear "my story" about leaving everything for life on an island, and some of these people tell me I am brave.  Hah!  It's all in the eyes of the beholder, I suppose, but, to me, entering a detox facility is brave.  Confiding in family and friends about stigmatized addictions is brave.  Sticking it out through a rehab program is brave.  Ending toxic relationships is brave.  Returning to work where people may have whispered at the long absence (and prior downward spiral) is brave.  Redefining friendships is brave.  Finding new interests and ways to have fun is brave.  Maintaining sobriety - as in, never have a single drink - for an entire year (with many more to follow) is brave.

Today, My Brave One, I celebrate you.  You are a brave, strong, centered, spiritual, loving, positive, open-minded, open-hearted, funny, smart, talented human being.  You inspire me.  You are one of my very best friends, and I love you with every ounce of my being.  My heartfelt congratulations and continued best wishes to you on your first anniversary!!!

Cheers to your new sunrise, new day, new year, new Better Life!

Today, I also celebrate any of you Better Lifers or your loved ones who are conquering these challenges.  Your Better Life awaits you!

Happy October 12th, everyone!

A Mother's Love (or, How to Not Kill Your Dog)

Oh Boy.  What a week.  Why did I disappear again, just after I'd told you I was excited to be writing again?  Well, I was busy keeping my dog alive . . .

After a whirlwind of travel last month, followed by a friendly visit from Tropical Storm Isaac, I was finally enjoying getting settled in to our island routine again.  This is a particularly quiet time of year on the island - turns out hurricane season is not a draw for the tourists - and I was enjoying the slow summer pace.  After posting last Monday, I decided to take advantage of the deliciously warm summer sea and go for a swim.

After wrapping up various chores late afternoon, I threw on a swimsuit, grabbed a beach towel and called out to Angel, "Wanna go swimming?"  As this phrase is well-recognized in her little dog vocabulary, she came trotting to the screen door, and out we went.  Traipsing down the back steps, our feet hit the sand and we strolled - well, I strolled and she scampered - to the water's edge.  I walked right in.  No need to dance the toes to get used to a chilly temperature.  No, the water is bathtub warm and so clear that I can see everything clearly in the 1-3 feet depth out back.

Angel waded in with me to her chest, then waded back out and raced around on the sand and coral rock.  Eventually, I walked back to the beach, scooped her up and carried her out to float with me in the slightly deeper water.  Ahhh, so relaxing.

Swimming in the backyard on another day.

After half an hour or so, I headed in.  Angel ran ahead of me and up the steps, probably attempting to escape the mandatory post-saltwater-sea-and-sand bath on the downstairs patio.  I walked up to retrieve her for her bath.  As I reached the top of the steps, I vaguely remember seeing her on the deck by the chaise lounges - had she just jumped up and slipped or fallen off?  I'm still not entirely clear.  All I know is that my baby began screaming in pain.

I don't mean whimpering or crying or even howling.  She was screaming, eyes wild with pain and terror and locked onto mine.  However, she wouldn't let me near her.  I kept looking at her, got down to her level and told her in soothing tones that she would be okay.

Today those big 'ol eyes are calm.

Finally, she let me pick her up gently.  I gave her a quick rinse with the hose.  Less for cleanliness concerns and more because in my desperation to help her, I wondered if the salt water was somehow stinging her.  That is not particularly logical, but is likely tied in my mind to the only other time I've heard Angel scream in pain - when rock salt on City sidewalks in our former winter world got in her paws.

Anyway, once I rinsed her and swaddled her in a towel, I simply held her until she calmed down.  At this point, I was sitting on the bedroom floor - away from the chill of the living room A/C - and both of us were dripping all over the tile floor.

After she calmed, I attempted to trouble-shoot the source of her pain.  I already knew she wasn't bleeding, although she did have a bad scrape on her inside thigh.  I also had felt her enough to know there were no broken bones apparent.  Did she throw her sensitive back out?  Did she fall and badly bruise her leg?

I just couldn't be sure.  All I knew was that my darling dog, who usually lets me poke and prod her with the nonchalant patience of a saint, wouldn't let me touch her anywhere on her back end.  Nor could she get comfortable to lie down or even sit.  She whimpered and was clearly in pain.

Desperate to ease her pain, but aware of her small size, I gave her a quarter tablet of Excedrin, the only pain relief medicine I had around.  Angel eventually was able to lie down, but she remained uncomfortable.  I had to carry her up and down the steps to go potty outside, and, even with my super-careful maneuvering, she winced every time I touched her.

The next day, I continued my Excedrin regimen.  Angel was eating and going about her business as usual, but she was very subdued and clearly still in discomfort.

Then, we reached Phase 2.  Angel began vomiting late Tuesday afternoon.  Hmmm, I presumed the Excedrin was upsetting her stomach, so I knew to discontinue that, but thought I'd look up online how to ease her tummy.  I hadn't even finished entering my key words "Excedrin" "dog" before other terrifying words and links started popping up.

Toxic.

Liver Failure.

Fatal.

No. No. No!  What had I done?!  Frantically, I began to read.  

(And why I hadn't googled this BEFORE I gave Excedrin to Angel, I'll never know!  I mean, I used to research for a living, for heaven's sake, and I remain queen of the google.  I guess I was just so focused on getting her relief that it didn't occur to me that my baby is not, in fact, a person and that I should check out the over-the-counter medicine she was about to trustingly take from me.  Sigh.)

So, it turns out that acetaminophen is extremely toxic to dogs (and caffeine ain't so great either).  It can cause liver failure and all kinds of dangers, even - gulp - death.  I was simultaneously reading everything I could at a rapid pace, instant messaging with an online vet service, and - after a tearful phone call to my father who worked decades in the pharmaceutical industry - reading the pharmacology information he sent me.  (If you're curious for the details, the vet "bible" gives the technical information here.)

Thankfully, I'd given her very small doses.  Even so, I was terrified that I'd done serious harm to her, and I was stricken with guilt and remorse at being the one to have done this to her!  I managed to reach my vet in Florida by phone and discussed this with him.  Unfortunately, all of the remedial steps recommended by my vet (and the online vet and my father) were simply impossible.  I had zero access to any of the veterinary medicines they discussed.   (Of course, no vet on this tiny island.)  I didn't even have access to a store that carried enough variety of human medications to get acceptable alternatives.

My only course of action was to withhold food, encourage water, get through the night and see how she was in the morning.  UGH.  (I even considered flying out with a private pilot that night, but we wouldn't have been able to land in the U.S. before Customs closed.)  By this time, Angel had stopped vomiting (after six episodes!).  She was listless, but not totally out of it.  She was also still in pain so it was difficult to tell if she was subdued from the pain, or because I poisoned her, or both!

Beau encouraged me to just make plans to take her to the vet the next morning - for my own peace of mind, to do whatever they could for her, and since she was still in pain anyway.  We first contemplated going to a vet in Nassau - it's a shorter flight and far cheaper than flying to the States.  But I decided I'd be more comfortable taking her to her regular vet in Florida rather than an unknown vet in Nassau (where we've had less-than-stellar vet experiences before, I hate to say).

Because it's the slow season, I didn't even know if I'd be able to get a flight out the next day.  It was after-hours, and the local charter service was closed.  Fortunately, one of the friendly staffers answered my after-hours email; they had a flight the next morning, and she put me and Angel on it!

I didn't sleep much that night, checking on Angel every time I heard her - and also when she was too quiet! - and making sure she wasn't showing other dangerous symptoms:  drooling, gum color change, jaundiced eyes, etc.  She seemed okay and, while I was sad that she was hungry, I was relieved to see her roaming the kitchen in search of breakfast, demonstrating that she still had her ever-present appetite.

After a heads up to the vet that we were headed in, Angel and I spent the morning in an airplane.  Upon landing, I went straight to the vet.  He had me leave her there so he could administer an iv with fluids, cleanse her liver, check her blood levels, give her a full xray, etc.  At the end of the day, I picked her up.  Good report!  He couldn't see permanent damage and her blood levels were okay.  He gave me a variety of medicines and homeopathic remedies to maintain with her, and we returned the next day to confirm the blood levels were still okay.  PHEW.

The vet shaved her little arm for the iv.  See her freckles/spots?!

He also surmised that her pain stemmed from an historically "bad knee" which has gotten worse, and he showed me the details on her little xray.  Thankfully, she seemed to have gotten herself righted again.  Although she still seemed a little sensitive, she was no longer in pain.

SO.  Moral of this story?  NO ACETAMINOPHEN FOR ANIMALS!  And really, don't give anything without checking it through the vet, or at least the almighty Google.  Duh.

Back home and relaxed today, shaved arm and all.

This story had a good ending.  As much as I ascribe human characteristics to Angel, even I don't think she is highly evolved enough to appreciate that I almost killed her (okay, that's a little dramatic, but I still feel terrible about it!) and that she, therefore, can be appreciative of her own Better Life!  :)

Kibble ball breakfast today, perky as ever.

Another good ending to this story is that it gave me the opportunity to see my dad, brother, grandparents, a good friend and to spend my mother's birthday weekend celebrating in person with her!

As a final aside, the unplanned trip also ended up with me attending a dynamic and entertaining presentation by Paul Efron about "Hope."  Paul, a guest speaker at my church that day, usually works in a recovery setting, and he is a wildly popular speaker about overcoming adversity.  In a delightful chat with him afterward, Paul also tuned me in to an intriguing book series and community of people - all coming from a place of gratitude and sharing their stories of triumph.  It's called Thank God I . . . and it has a definite Better Life philosophy!  Check it out at www.thankgodi.com

Now, I'm pleased to report that Angel and I are happily home. After arriving yesterday morning, I delighted in putting away Stateside groceries, starting the never-ending laundry, cooking for Beau who seems to have been subsisting largely on takeout and the mercy of others, enjoying the warm sun combined with a strong cool breeze, and relishing the HAPPY feeling of being home!

Angel back to her Better Life today, napping per usual.

Summer Birthdays

I know, I know, I haven't been posting as much as I used to.  And I REALLY do want to get back to it.  I've just been having too much fun!!  :)  

Most notably,  I just came off of a week/end of delightful birthday festivities.  But before we talk about that, I'll fill you in on the biggest birthday bash of the summer . . .

Beau turned 50!  In the midst of a hectic time, we threw a weekend-long party last month.  As you know, our tiny island is home to fewer than 100 full-timers, plus the many visitors that travel through on boats and in rental cottages.  But for this weekend, close to 300 people converged at the parties - all the locals, friends from neighboring islands, family and friends from Nassau and elsewhere!

Family started to arrive on that Thursday while Beau and the guys were out diving (free-diving and spear-fishing) to get fish for the parties.  By Friday, all of us were in full party-prepping mode:  cleaning fish, seasoning fish/chicken/mutton, making a variety of salads and side dishes, etc.  

A friend in my kitchen making conch chowder.

Beau's family at his dock, cleaning fish.

Friday evening, the party kicked off at the main dock in the center of town.  It was a low-key, very native-style cookout.  The buffet-style menu included -- all home-caught and home-made -- conch chowder, mutton souse, chicken souse, boiled wilks and fried fish.  Beau had a bar set-up, and friends and family mingled over drinks and good island food.

Bellies full, the crowd mingles.

Birthday Beau and I with friends.

Saturday brought the next phase of party/food prep.  It was a lot of work - no catering in these parts, all DIY! - but we had so many family and friends pitching in.  One person made conch salad, another green salad, another lobster salad, another macaroni-n-cheese, another conch fritters, another deviled eggs, another seasoned and slow-roasted the pork, etc.  I made multiple runs to the little food stores for last minute items people needed, helped coordinate it all, made rum punch with Beau, and worked on cleaning up the party area, setting up chairs and tables and decorating.

Finally, after a really quick rainshower that gave us a momentary scare, but amounted to nothing more, the party began!  And oh. what fun it was!

Friends and family volunteering as servers to the giant buffet line.  Great food!

After a truly scrumptious meal, we surprised Beau with a presentation that the local children and I had been planning.  I recited a poem I'd written, the children performed hand motions along with it, and then - one by one - each child went up to Beau with a handmade card, a hug and proclaimed to the crowd the reason why they loved him.  It was so heartfelt and moving - love those kids!

The children and I on the platform, about to start the presentation.

After that, the band played good ol' Bahamian rake-n-scrape music all night, people danced, we ate cake and cupcakes, the kids played down on the beach and away from the "adult party," and a great time was had by all!

The band came in from Nassau for the party.

The bar.

 

The dancing begins!

Birthday Beau and I with good friends, having fun!

After that big bash, and a whirlwind trip to the States that included a friend's birthday bash, I was happy to be home on the island during this quieter end-of-summer time.  (Well, quiet except for the occasional tropical storm, that is!)

So imagine my delighted surprise when Beau mentioned in passing that he was putting together a little birthday BBQ for me!  We had dinner out for my actual birthday during the week, and then we celebrated with island friends this past weekend with a BBQ on the beach Saturday evening.  It was low-key, relaxed and simply perfect.

With my beautiful neighbor and friend.

With friends, against the backdrop of a pink sunset sky.

Our dear cousin/friend mans the grill.

Beau and the grill masters:  chicken, ribs, hamburgers, hot dogs.

Milo hanging out with us.  Angel happily ensconced at home, away from the crowd.

I enjoyed a happy, happy, happy birthday!

And that gives you a peek into our parties - island style!  This birthday season, I remain so incredibly thankful for a wonderful year and my own Better Life!

Have a wonderful week, and Happy Labor Day to all of you American readers!

What's Up?

My dearest Better Lifers, I have missed you! 

Since launching this blog four months ago (is that all?  It feels like we've been together longer than that!), this is the longest I've been away from you.  It has been exceptionally busy lately - even for "island busy!"  Some of the reasons why will warrant individual blog posts in the future, but, in a nutshell, here's what I've been up to:

• Beau's dog, Milo, injured himself somehow and has been limping.  To keep him from running and wrestling with the other island dogs, we've been keeping him contained in the house - which means double duty for me on dog baths and tick checks!

• My beau just turned 50!  He threw a weekend-long party in the center of town, so we were busy with all kinds of party prep - and enjoying the parties!

• Lots of beau's family (and friends) came in from Nassau and other places to celebrate with us.  At one point, I had 15 people staying in the house!

• In the midst of all this, we've had some home renovation projects underway.  The morning that the first family arrived, my bedroom, bathroom and closet contents were still sitting in the living room!  The new tile dried and I scrambled to move everything back.  After family left, the renovations resumed, so the house is still a bit chaotic.

• As part of the kids program we run, we went overnight camping on another island with 17 children ages 5 to 14!  Came home, showered, slept a couple hours and then went back out to conduct the "graduation ceremony" now that the summer program is concluded.

• A storm system passed through more than a week ago, with lots of rain, thunder and lightning.  Most notable, however, was that the tower in George Town was struck by lightning, so I have been without internet service until today! 

• Today lends itself well to catching up on the internet after a two-week hiatus because I am spending most of my time lying on the couch.  To treat myself to a "Better Life" kind of day after getting through everything above, I went out with friends yesterday for a boat ride and swim on a gorgeous day.  While wading through a channel, I stepped on a sea urchin - EEEEOOOOOWWWW!  I'll explain more about that soon, but it ain't pretty.  I'm nursing 19 sticker pricks in my right foot.

Ahhh, island living.  I'm still loving it!  I look forward to catching up with you more soon.