Do You Miss It? (Big Life Change)

Last week, I posted about things I miss (and don't miss) as it relates to the specifics of island living.  Today, we tackle the bigger picture of what I miss (or don't miss) as it relates to the major changes I've made in leaving the practice of law and life in a big USA City for life on a tiny island.

So, in that context, do I miss it?  The general answer is a resounding no.  Particularly, when people ask me if I miss practicing law, I surprise even myself by answering that I haven't missed it or looked backwards AT ALL!  I mean, I miss colleagues and clients, I miss having that professional identity, I miss the ego aspects of it.  And I definitely miss the paycheck.  But that's all at a fairly low level - I really don't miss it.  

I was fortunate to be successful as a lawyer, but it was never my true calling.  Even after law school, I worked as an educational consultant before going into private practice.  I liked it well enough, but I didn't LOVE my job as a lawyer, and I didn't feel like I was REALLY making a difference in anyone's life in a way that mattered to me.  Add to that the pressures of time, politics, business development, high-stakes deals and the overall stress and exhaustion, I just don't miss it!

One of our Better Lifers, who is himself a lawyer, asked me some specifics about this in a comment to last week's post:

• "Dawn, do you miss the practice of law at all? I know that at least for awhile I would be just fine being separated from it, but having spent so much of my life in and around the law, I think it would be tough to let go, both emotionally as well as intellectually."

I touched on some of that above, but let's elaborate.  I didn't struggle at all with letting go.  That is, once the decision was made, I didn't struggle.  Keep in mind that I decided to quit my job and take a "year off" - anticipating a career change of some sort - well before I decided to visit the island, much less move here!  Any struggle I had was in leading up to that decision.  Since making the decision, having quit and eventually moved to the island, I have not struggled at all to let go.  

Emotionally, I never fully identified myself with being a lawyer anyway.  Certainly, it was my primary identity to the outside world, but because it didn't feel totally like ME, I was actually seeking to find something that was a better match.  

Intellectually, I haven't missed it either.  I am surrounded by very bright people and dynamic discussions that keep me on my toes.  I also am stretching into new areas (e.g., freelance writing) and enjoy the writing aspect.  Frankly, I'm learning so many new island-related skills and details that it's a bit of a rude awakening to realize that all my lawyer skills pale in comparison - and don't get me very far - when it comes to fishing for food, cleaning fish, driving a boat, making home/boat repairs, growing produce and so many other talents required to live well on an island.

• "I know that there are so many advantages to your situation, but have you felt the need to replace the intellectual stimulation you may have had as a lawyer with something else since you have embraced the island life?" 

I am so happy being domestic and living the island life that I haven't felt any need to replace the intellectual stimulation.  Like I said above, I am intellectually satisfied in other ways now.  Also, I'm very involved in my adopted community and put my organizational and project management skills to use in ways that feel even more rewarding (with direct impact) than I felt before.

• "Will you still keep your law license up to date, or have you permanently walked away from the profession?"

Although I don't think I would ever practice law again, I recognize that we can't predict all future events, so never say never.  However, I NEVER want to take another Bar Exam!  So, yes, I maintain my law license in the two states where I am licensed.  I've gone to inactive status to save on annual fees since I'm not practicing.

One last thing about not missing the practice of law . . . There is a distinction between not practicing anymore and not being a lawyer anymore.  I've heard some say, "Once a lawyer, always a lawyer."  (I think I've run into this most on Facebook, Twitter and blogs where there is an abundance of "former lawyers" in new careers or working as writers in some foreign land!  There are way more of us than I would have guessed.)  I still identify myself as a lawyer sometimes.  I confess, sometimes it's an ego thing because, in the face of my current unemployed and homemaker role, it gives me instant "credibility" with intellectual snobs or people who can't figure out how to pigeonhole me.  Also, the skills I learned from almost 15 years of lawyering are transferable (e.g., writing, public speaking, research, attention to detail, project management, organization and time management, etc.) so I'm still a lawyer in that sense.

And as any "non-lawyer" who is married to a lawyer knows, I will forever parse words, push for one more detail about something I'm trying to figure out, and be long-winded.  :)  Once a lawyer, always a lawyer. 

Wow, that was a lot about lawyering.  But in terms of big life changes, our careers define so much of who we are, I guess that makes sense.  Do I miss other big-picture aspects?  I don't miss big-City living at all.  To the extent I miss specific luxuries that came with City living, I addressed that last week, and I just don't miss any one thing THAT MUCH.  

Bottom line, as with all life decisions, it's all about the personal fit.  I think, as humans, we can be very adaptable.  I was able to thrive in the big City and fast lane career.  But, for me, my island life is simply a better fit with who I am and how I want to live my life - simply, surrounded by a beautiful environment (especially sea and sun), in a small community, and focusing on the things that matter most to me.

What else have I forgotten?  What other "big life picture" things do you wonder whether I miss or not?  What do you think you might miss?