What's Up?

My dearest Better Lifers, I have missed you! 

Since launching this blog four months ago (is that all?  It feels like we've been together longer than that!), this is the longest I've been away from you.  It has been exceptionally busy lately - even for "island busy!"  Some of the reasons why will warrant individual blog posts in the future, but, in a nutshell, here's what I've been up to:

• Beau's dog, Milo, injured himself somehow and has been limping.  To keep him from running and wrestling with the other island dogs, we've been keeping him contained in the house - which means double duty for me on dog baths and tick checks!

• My beau just turned 50!  He threw a weekend-long party in the center of town, so we were busy with all kinds of party prep - and enjoying the parties!

• Lots of beau's family (and friends) came in from Nassau and other places to celebrate with us.  At one point, I had 15 people staying in the house!

• In the midst of all this, we've had some home renovation projects underway.  The morning that the first family arrived, my bedroom, bathroom and closet contents were still sitting in the living room!  The new tile dried and I scrambled to move everything back.  After family left, the renovations resumed, so the house is still a bit chaotic.

• As part of the kids program we run, we went overnight camping on another island with 17 children ages 5 to 14!  Came home, showered, slept a couple hours and then went back out to conduct the "graduation ceremony" now that the summer program is concluded.

• A storm system passed through more than a week ago, with lots of rain, thunder and lightning.  Most notable, however, was that the tower in George Town was struck by lightning, so I have been without internet service until today! 

• Today lends itself well to catching up on the internet after a two-week hiatus because I am spending most of my time lying on the couch.  To treat myself to a "Better Life" kind of day after getting through everything above, I went out with friends yesterday for a boat ride and swim on a gorgeous day.  While wading through a channel, I stepped on a sea urchin - EEEEOOOOOWWWW!  I'll explain more about that soon, but it ain't pretty.  I'm nursing 19 sticker pricks in my right foot.

Ahhh, island living.  I'm still loving it!  I look forward to catching up with you more soon.

Island Kids

I love our island children.

I don't have children of my own (and my beau's children are grown).  So I get my "kid fix" from spending time with the local island kids.  Due to the small size of the community and the relaxed, interactive, island lifestyle, it is my pleasure to see these children almost every day - far more often than I was able to see cousins or friend's children in the hectic, far-flung States.

Beau and I brought all the kids over for an impromptu cookout and swim one weekend afternoon last fall.

One of the benefits of living on this small island is the tight sense of community.  With fewer than 100 full-time residents, and a delightful tangle of family ties amongst all the cousins and aunts and uncles, the community knows one another well and spends lots of time together.  Of the current residents, 17 are school-aged children - including only three girls at the moment! 

The school.

The island boasts a one-room schoolhouse, with live-in government teachers, where it educates children from Kindergarten through Grade 8.  After that, children must go to Nassau or another island for high school.  Sometimes families move with their children.  More often, during those high school years, our local children live with an aunt or cousin or other family member already living in that location.

My beau also loves children, and he is especially fond of these island children since many of them are his family or god-children or simply the future of this special island.  Beau and I, along with another couple, started a local kids' camp last summer.  Well into our second summer now, we are all having a ball!  All of the local school kids participate, along with numerous volunteer adults, and we meet every Thursday and Saturday during the summer months.  

Snorkeling one Saturday.

The purpose of the camp is to pass on traditional island skills in the areas of swimming, boating, sailing, fishing, free-diving, spear-fishing and nature skills, while subtly encouraging positive character development that has made this island special:  manners, discipline, respect for elders and the community, island preservation, work ethic, etc.

Boat excursion.

These island children share many similarities with American and most other children, in my experience.  They love to laugh, play, giggle, get into innocent mischief, express wonder at new things, and they bring an energy and zest for life to everything they do.

This crew just won a champion junior sailing race.  Posing here for a "serious" picture.

And a "silly" picture.

And now the CHAMPION picture!

However, the island children also seem a little different to me than many other children - in a good way. As a whole,  island kids are unfailingly polite, demonstrate respect for their elders, answer with "yes ma'am" and the like, do not bully their peers (of course, disagreements and bickering are unavoidable), and play tirelessly outdoors during all of their free time.  

I suspect that much of this has to do with the small-town atmosphere and values and family relations, which small towns in the U.S. and other countries may still continue to enjoy.  Certainly the freedom that comes with living in a small, safe place enables our local kids to run loose for hours on end in a way that City kids just can't enjoy.

Playing on one of the beaches.

It definitely takes a village to raise a child, and our local village embraces that concept.  Any adult, including myself now, will reprimand or correct any child observed being rude or unruly or doing something unsafe.  The children are quick to respond.  They're also quick to run up to us with greetings ("Good afternoon!"), hugs and whatever news is most exciting in their day.

Gardening session in our camp - we planted watermelons and pumpkins.  Fingers crossed for a good harvest!

Unfortunately, the inevitable path of "progress" brings changes to children here, too.  Computers, video games and modern technology demand the attention of many of the children - it's not just fishing and swimming anymore.  Exposure to brand names and popular trends through television and the internet brings the focus on such material things to the island in ways we didn't see a couple decades ago.  Like elsewhere in the world, values slowly change as a result.  As much as possible (thus, the kids camp), we hope to preserve the innocence of our children and their appreciation for island life.

Meanwhile, I just enjoy them every single day.

One of the boys diving down to explore on a snorkel excursion.

I donned a life jacket to help a nervous swimmer snorkel an underwater cave.  A great accomplishment for him!

Our tiny James Bond.

Beau returning with older boys from a spear-fishing excursion.

Beach picnic lunch last weekend, younger kids are still swimming in the background.

Kids cleaning their fish after a successful mission.

Moment of Zen with the sharks by the fish-cleaning bench.

Tired twins heading home with their spears, snorkel gear and bag of freshly caught and cleaned fish!

Wow! A Better Life Profile

Well, Better Lifers, here's another first.  A delightful blog has published a profile about me and Choosing the Better Life!  I am amazed, honored and extremely humbled.

You may recall that I recently wrote a book review for two lovely women, Lois and Victoria, discussing their newly published book, A Little Book About Something Much Bigger.  We first "met" via Twitter (@LittleBookAbout).  Part of why we connected online initially was our shared beliefs in living from a place of gratitude, following those inner nudgings, and otherwise living by Choosing the Better Life kinds of principles.  

Lois and Victoria developed those themes even further and highlight them in their blog post.  Thank you for being part of this Better Life journey!

Snorkeling in the Aquarium (with Video!)

Over the weekend, Beau and I took advantage of the beautiful summer day and headed out for a day of play on the water.  We enjoyed a long boat ride up the chain of islands, exploring along the way and cooling off in the sea.

(For a bird's eye view of the chain of islands, and the spectacular shades of blue and aqua that we were cruising through in our boat, check out this older post with lots of aerial photos.)

During our exploration, one spot was rife with sea turtles, sharks and other sea creatures, so we got into the water to check it out more closely.  Unfortunately for all of you, I don't have any pictures from this spot.  I was too busy avoiding (successfully) getting stung by the schools of thimbles that were pervading the water!  These tiny jellyfish-like critters, in the shape of a sewing thimble, come out in the summer.  Sometimes they sting, sometimes they don't.  They stay mostly on the surface, so I was either swimming hard to stay down without a weight belt (I'm a floater!) or relaxing back in the boat - especially as the sharks became more curious.

But never fear, I trotted out the trusty camera at our next stop in the middle of a national park area of the sea.  Among other things, the "park" designation means that a no-fishing, no-taking policy applies to everything in its area.  As a result, fish and other sea creatures are plentiful.  It serves as a wonderful breeding ground and makes for fabulous snorkeling.

These pictures are from the part of the park locally known as the "Aquarium."  The Aquarium boasts tons of fish and coral in our pristine water of the Exumas.  (And no thimbles that day!)

Almost always, the first fish to greet us in the Aquarium are little Sergeant Majors. 

Sergeant Majors and some tails of Yellowtail Snapper.

As soon as we jumped in the water, these little guys swarmed around us in a frantic cloud of brightly striped color.  They are about 4-5 inches long and, obviously, are not afraid to swim up and blow kisses at the camera.

Sergeant Major kisses.

On the floor of the Aquarium - about 20-30 feet deep - and along the sides are plentiful coral, sea fans, sea grass and other wildlife.

A beautiful underwater world.  See where the sunlight filters down?

Another school of Sergeant Majors (and Yellowtail Snapper).

Another commonly seen (and hunted) fish in our area is the Grouper.  This one in the Aquarium was particularly friendly.  He must've known that he was safe from becoming our dinner in the protected park!

Grouper in the middle.

Another grouper in a different area, along with Triggerfish, Sergeant Majors and Yellowtail Snapper.

As a seasoned free-diver, my beau can hold his breath and swim effortlessly in deep waters for seemingly forever.  Without his spear and the thrill of the hunt in this protected park area, it was pure playtime for him.

Checking out something on the sea floor.

Looking under the rock, probably staring down a lobster or two.

Upside down again.

Now so far into a hole that you just see his blue flippers!

Our friends, Americans who are longtime residents of the Bahamas, enjoyed the exploration, too.

Queen of the Sergeant Majors.

Fish Whisperer?

Now, for my favorite part . . . a video treat!  This brief underwater video clip features my beau and a kajillion Sergeant Marjors swimming around him.  The video has a sped-up feel to it, but it is not edited or altered.  The fish are swimming at their actual pace.  However, it IS a faster pace than their usual - they are in a frenzy over the cracker that Beau brought with him and just crumbled into the water.  You may notice Mr. Grouper swimming through at a more leisurely pace.  The video is mostly silent except for the crackling sound of all the little fish - that is actually what it sounds like under there!

What a wonderful day!  I definitely enjoyed a Better Life kind of weekend, and I hope you did, too!

Choosing To Be Unbusy

I've joked about being "island busy."  That is, my days stay full of activity, but I'm cognizant that it's not the same stressful levels as when I lived in the States.  

Lately, however, I've been feeling the press of those old "hectic" feelings creeping into my island bliss.  You know the ones I mean:

• I'm so busy.
• I can't get through everything on my To Do List.
• I can't seem to get caught up.
• There's not enough time to do the things I want to do. 
• I'm turning down fun offers for the tasks I feel I "should" be doing.

IT'S TIME TO PRESS THE PAUSE BUTTON.

I live on an island for heaven's sake!  I walked away from a "big career" and left the City so I could enjoy the things in life that were more important to me.  I made a conscious choice to Better my Life in big and small ways every day.  I don't even have a freakin' job - how can I be too busy?!

How did this happen?  Slowly, over time, I've allowed my commitments and my own tendencies to crowd the relaxed island pace I'd been enjoying.

Some of it is an increase in responsibilities:  running a summer kids' program, house issues popping up that need addressed, spending more time developing blog and writing opportunities, etc.

Some of it stems from my own personality traits:  conscientious list-maker with a strong work ethic.  Even my 86-year-old grandmother rarely sits down - though she certainly should! - in the course of any given day.  Always busy, busy, busy.  In the work world, those traits masquerade as ambition and reliability and good things to help us advance.  But we just get busier.

Part of my Better Life has been letting go of Type A tendencies and being more flexible.  While I've managed to sustain that, I've let my penchant for being busy accumulate into a way that I'm no longer liking.

Perhaps that's why I relished that French Toast and my pseduo "day off" earlier this week.  It was my first attempt at slowing things back down, relieving myself of the drive to be "productive," and a reclaiming of some simple happiness.

After reading that post, my mother emailed me a link to an article about being too busy.  (Mom suffers from this malady as well - we are a direct line of descendents from the aforementioned busy grandmother!)  I promptly emailed her back, but said - no kidding - that I was too busy to read it until later!  Well, I finally read this wonderful article, and it gave me great pause.

On the New York Times Opinion Pages, Tim Kreider posted "The 'Busy' Trap."
I thought he was spot-on in his descriptions of, and musings about, the busy-ness that pervades our lives.  And what wonderful timing for me to be reading his article!

I've decided that, before I slide down that busy slope any more, I'm calling a halt and making some little changes.  I'm choosing to be less busy!  It means a shift in priorities.  It means giving myself permission (again) to not be "productive" every minute of the day, or even every day.  It means saying yes to fun offers and letting other things wait.  

In law school, and then later in law firm life, my best friend and I had a mantra that we would use to remind each other and ourselves not to freak out in trying to manage a seemingly impossible amount of work on tight deadlines  - IT ALL GETS DONE.  IT ALL ALWAYS GETS DONE.

While I am thankfully no longer working or living at that pace, I can apply the same mantra to my "island busy."  How have I implemented this specifically so far?

• For the past two mornings, I've spent over an hour exercising with friends.  Now, if you know me or if you've been reading this blog for a while, you'll recall that I am a morning person.  I'm most productive in the early hours of the day and I get lots done then!  Moreover, if I don't get a jump on it then, I tend to lose momentum and it takes me longer - or not at all - to get to certain things.  HOWEVER, morning is when my friends exercise.  Morning is when it's less sweltering on the island so it makes sense to exercise then.  So I've been exercising in the morning, instead of not at all!

• For the past two days, I have, in fact, felt the gap in productivity since I'm using my mornings differently.  BUT, I feel good about exercising.  I like how I feel physically.  I enjoy the time with friends.  I'm not missing any deadlines or postponing important stuff TOO long, so I just let any potential angst about not being as productive as I could/should be roll right off.

• After this morning's exercise, I was on my way home when I saw a few friends hanging out on their front porch.  Normally, I'd wave and head on home to get to work.  This morning, I stopped.  We chatted about last night's fireworks and festivities.  We traded tips on gardening and recipes related to the pumpkins and watermelons that our kids' camp children have planted.  We laughed. It was worth every minute.

• Eventually, I headed home.  However, along the way, I noticed some of the children sailing just offshore in small Sunfish as part of a sailing lesson by one of my friends.  Again, I decided to make time and stop.  I walked out to the dock and cheered each of the kids by name as they rounded the buoy on a successful tack.  I called out to my friend and traded quick pleasantries.  I chatted with one of the boys who was still ashore.  I smiled, inhaled the fresh air, enjoyed the pretty view, and just breathed a little easier.

• Now, instead of tackling house projects, I am drafting this blog.  I confess, partly it's because of those old "shoulds" creeping in.  Bloggers must post regularly to keep readers interested, blah, blah, blah.  But also, I just felt like it, and I wanted to share this mini-revelation and The 'Busy' Trap article with you all.

• I haven't been carrying my camera around and thinking about blog shots at every opportunity.  No worries, I'll get back to pictures because they are fun.  But, for now, this is one little nod to just going about my day in a slower, simpler, just-for-me kind of way.

And there you have it!  I'm back to Choosing a Better Life by choosing to be unbusy!  Or, well, at least LESS busy.  Baby steps, people.  :)  How are you going to extricate yourself from your own busy trap?

What's So Special About French Toast?

What's so special about French Toast?  Well, nothing really.  It's delicious, but it's not particularly unique, nor is it difficult to make.  So why write about it?  

I dunno, just because I feel like it.

Okay, but that's kind of a weak answer.  WHY do I feel like writing about it?  Perhaps because some of you are curious about what I do in the course of any given day on the island.  Others of you are interested in the concept of choosing a better life for yourselves and are searching for clues in the experience of others.  And some of you, like me, just like food!

So today's post is simply about French Toast.  And it's the "simply" part that's most important to me and part of my Better Life.

So, let's talk.

Yesterday, my beau was visiting a neighboring island after work, and one of the women sent him home with a loaf of fresh-baked bread for me - cinnamon raisin, mmmmm.

Fresh, homemade cinnamon raisin bread.

Many of the women in the islands bake their own bread.  My mother even baked bread with a bread-maker machine in years past.  My darling ex-pat neighbor, normally a fantastic cook, even called me one day to tell me not to worry if I saw smoke pouring out of her kitchen window - her bread-maker was having a bad day!

Many of the Bahamian women bake the oh-so-delicious "Bahamian Bread."  One of these days, I'd like to tackle that.  For now, I enjoy the fruits, errr breads, of their labors.  The classic Bahamian bread is white, thick, dense and sweet.  In this health era, women bake whole wheat, too.  Coconut bread is a local favorite which, as you may suspect, has grated coconut in the bread for a scrumptious flavor.  Cinnamon bread, pictured above, is the last of the four standard varieties.

Many of the women bake for their own families.  Others have turned it into a business.  Local bakeries, often selling out of their own homes, are delightful places to visit with the warm sweet scents emanating from the kitchen.  Generally, Bahamian Bread (white) sells for $5 per loaf, and the other varieties sell for $6 per loaf.

So, yesterday, I was delighted at our friend's thoughtfulness in sending bread to me, and I immediately thought how tasty the cinnamon raisin bread would be as french toast.  This morning, those thoughts were still on my mind.

It is another hot day, with a slight breeze, but it still feels like a warm damp blanket wrapped around me and everything in the house.  I do have A/C units in each room, but electricity is expensive, and I don't want to get so used to the A/C that I can no longer function in the ever-present heat!  Summer is just beginning, after all.  So most days, I sweat it out until late afternoon or early evening, then indulge in cooling off the main room for dinner and evening relaxation, and the bedroom for sleeping.

But I digress.

On this hot morning, I just felt like taking a break from the usual busy pace of cleaning, prepping lunch and dinner, running errands, dealing with online stuff, and all the usual details of the day.  Nope, today I felt like treating myself a little bit - and French Toast was the way to go.

I laid out everything I would need and threw together the egg/milk batter.  I pulled out my all-time favorite Mrs. Butterworth's syrup.  Funny the things we like.  My beau and I have friends from New England who brought us The Real Deal in the form of Vermont maple syrup.  While all-natural and absolutely delicious, sometimes I just want Mrs. Butterworth's.

Side note: the little red-topped container that lives on my counter contains pure rock salt, hand-gathered locally by a friend!

Let the cooking commence!  I won't even attempt to frame this as a "recipe" since I can tell you nothing about French Toast that you haven't already learned from your own family or the almighty internet.  Approximately one egg with 1/4 cup milk or so, sprinkles of cinnamon powder, stir together, dunk the bread on each side and plop onto a hot griddle, flipping to cook each side until done to your liking.

French toast in process.

Not having made it with cinnamon bread before, it didn't occur to me that it might brown faster or burn around the raisins.  Whatever.  I'm not claiming excellence - it tasted better than it looks!  Same goes for the egg yolk that broke when I flipped it, but it still ended up over medium, as I was hoping.

Final touch - fresh strawberries purchased on a day-run to Nassau yesterday for errands and groceries.  Occasionally, fresh strawberries will come through our local stores, but it's a treat, so I grabbed a box of pretty-looking ones in Nassau.

Breakfast is served.

As always, Angel maintained an alert post beside me while I ate, anxious for accidental droppings or not-so-accidental handouts.

Anything for me?

And this pic just because she's so doggone cute.

I wasn't giving her any handouts, but - with the camera taking her picture and all - she knew I was still paying attention to her.  So she diligently held her "sit" position to show me what a good girl deserving of treats she must be.  In fact, she was so intent on holding her pose that her back legs were slowly sliding out from underneath her!  Cracks me up . . .

Still waiting - and slowly spread-eagling.

Eventually, she gave up on the pose, got more comfortable, but still stayed right beside me - just in case.

I'm right here if you change your mind.

I didn't change my mind, and I polished off the whole plate.

Mmmmmmm.

So, that's been my morning so far.  Well, that plus the dishes and blogging about it all.

It just made me HAPPY this morning to make French Toast.  Temporary, fleeting, minor, low-key, whatever.  But every little bit of happiness must surely be a good thing.  Today, for me, I found happiness in "treating" myself to postpone laundry and computer errands.  I found happiness in a friend's generosity of gifting me bread.  I found happiness in the fresh homemade goodness itself.  I found happiness in satisfying a craving for French Toast.  I found happiness in a childhood favorite syrup.  I found happiness in fresh berries.  I found happiness in Angel's antics.  I found happiness in the view of the sea as I cooked.  I found happiness in the contentment of a full belly.  

Realizing that I couldn't remember a single day of making mid-week French Toast for myself in more than a decade of lawyering, I found appreciation and happiness in simply having the time to putter with all of this today.

The "big" things in life are momentous, important and sometimes life-changing.  But it's the little things in every single day that give shape to how we feel on that particular day.  Those little moments accumulate into the whole of the day.  Mine is off to a good start!  I hope you find some little pleasures in your day, too.  Cheers, friends!